


Face the Music

by Onlymostydead



Category: DCU, DCU (Comics), Teen Titans (Comics)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Blood, Disordered Eating, Happy Ending, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Past Drug Abuse, Implied/Referenced Past Suicide Attempt, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Sexual Abuse, Internalized Biphobia, Internalized Homophobia, Internalized Transphobia, M/M, NOTHING IS GRAPHIC, Slurs, Trans Male Character, Trans Wally West, Transphobia, forced confessions, mild violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-14
Updated: 2019-06-14
Packaged: 2020-05-07 12:14:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 27,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19209223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Onlymostydead/pseuds/Onlymostydead
Summary: With Pride Month starting, and all of his friends embracing it full force, Wally is left in the same familiar spot: the closet. It isn't that he doesn't want to tell the other Titans the truth, it just it's not safe.And if they know one secret, it could lead them to the others: from sexuality, to gender, to his crush on Robin... All the way back to his life at home.





	Face the Music

**Author's Note:**

> Please re-read the warnings. I don't want you to hurt yourself with this. Even though nothing is graphic, that doesn't mean it's not extremely triggering.
> 
> Also note: Wally wears a binder in this fic both when he is sleeping in a scene, and when he runs. Don't be like Wally; be safe with your binder! Don't excersize in one, take breaks, and certainly don't sleep in one.
> 
> And please, don't out anyone, ever.

"Y'all know what today is!" Donna announced, floating into Titans HQ.

Wally blinked, looking her up and down. Her normal Wonder Girl outfit was nowhere to be found, replaced by a completely rainbow version. Her boots were rainbow, her skirt was white with rainbow stars on it. Only the silver accents on her top and her bracelets stayed the same - even her hair scrunchy was rainbow.

He almost groaned, barely holding it back and instead forcing a smile. "Pride month!"

"Don't sound so excited." She elbowed him lightly, rolling her eyes. "We all know you're gay, you can tell us already."

Wally rolled his eyes. "For the last time-"

"You're not gay." Donna recited, then sighed. "And yet you look at Robin like he puts the sun in the sky-"

Instantly, he turned red.

"Shh! Donna!" 

"What? Is he here?" She glanced around. "I thought I was the first one here... Besides you."

"But I'm always the first one here." Wally pointed out. "I mean, I'm here in a flash! A Kid Flash."

Donna ruffled his hair. "Or the last one here."

"Well, yeah... that's the truth..."

"What's the truth? Me, coming out of the ocean to shame mankind on this wonderful first day of pride month?" 

Garth was, not surprisingly, similarly outfitted, just not classic rainbow. His swim shorts were decorated with the pan colors, and his shirt with the genderqueer ones. It made him look a little bit like a multicolor striped disaster, but considering the fact that he was colorblind, and his own costume was yellow and red... Wally could definitely let it slide. 

...Except now there were two of them in pride costumes. Fan-fucking-tastic. Was it going to be like this all month? Wally didn't know how he was going to survive this for more than a couple days.

"Wow, did you guys plan this? That's pretty cool."

"...no, actually." Donna admitted. "Rad, though."

"Fuck yeah."

They fist-bumped. Yeah, this was going to be bad.

"Bi the way, guys-" Roy stopped, blinking in total disbelief. "Are you guys serious?"

"What, you thought you were the only one, too?" 

Roy was decked out in full bisexual flag colors, not one single ounce of subtlety. Then again, with Roy, was anything ever subtle?

"Wait, Gar." He frowned. "Can you even see half the colors you're wearing?"

"Haha... Fuck you."

"...watch Rob show up dressed up too."

Wally nodded. "You know, he probably figured out what you guys were planning and couldn't miss out."

"Nah, let's be honest, he was already planning it." Donna shrugged. "Robbie is peak bisexual disaster at its finest."

"...true."

Roy elbowed him. "What, sad 'cause you're the only straight one?"

Yeah, this was going to suck.

Wally rolled his eyes. "Pfft, fuck no. I just always think of Rob as... You know..."

"Less likely to show up like this?" 

And there was Robin, strutting into HQ like he always did. Instead of his normal little yellow cape, the bi flag was tied around his shoulders.

"Happy pride month! And happy KIA summer sales event to Wally."

He managed a smile. "Aww, thanks Robbie."

"Ayy, bi disaster squad!" Roy and Robin fist bumped. "Batman let you leave the house in that?"

"I'd like to see him stop me." Robin grinned his perfect little smile, just like he always did. "'Sides, the Bats isn't homophobic or anything... And you don't even know if he's straight."

Roy blinked. "True... I guess I always think you guys have mentors like Olly."

Garth tipped his head to the side, hair falling all in his face. "Wait. I thought Olly was bi?"

"You're thinking of the time he declared himself to be 'bi-curious' after making out with Hal, drunk, at the Justice League Annual Holiday Party."

"...oh, yeah... I think remember that."

"I mean, Diana is bi." Donna pointed out. "Aquaman is...?"

"So straight he didn't know what straight meant." Garth answered. "Yeah... Atlantis is a little more chill with that kind of stuff, though so it's less of a deal. It's a whole lot easier down there than up here."

"Ohhh yeah." She nodded. "Back home in Thymescira it's so normal, no one questions being gay, trans, anything. We're all women, and when love happens, it happens."

"Then you come to this hellhole." Roy shrugged. "I mean, Star isn't so bad..."

"Well, it's a big city." Robin pointed out. "There are going to be some problems, but for the most part? Getting mugged is way more of a concern than who someone else is holding the hand of."

"True. But I mean, Gotham has Bruce Wayne sponsoring all of its pride stuff and all that shit, you think it's better there than Star?"

He shrugged. "Don't really know. I don't think I've spend enough time either place."

"Wait, Rob, does something seem wrong to you?" Roy asked, glancing around.

Immediately, like he was just waiting for an excuse, Wally searched the room. Nothing was even a bit out of place though, which meant...

He slowed back down.

"Oh, wait, it's just how quiet Wally's been this whole time."

"Oh, ha ha, guys." Wally chuckled, rolling his eyes. "What am I supposed to say? Uncle Barry is proud to be pan?"

Garth perked up. "How did I not know that?"

He shrugged. "No clue. He wears a flag every year."

"Guess I've just never noticed."

"Well..." Wally trailed off. "He tries, but it usually comes untied. Super-speed doesn't exactly make it easy to wear capes."

"Yeah, I can imagine." Roy snorted. "Is that why you're not in the hetero gray?"

"...sure?"

"Alright, alright." Robin reigned them in. "Let's try to get some actual work done, okay? Now..."

***

The moment Wally was done with his assigned task for the day - full and thorough perimeter check - he was in his HQ room, flopping down on his bed. This was the one place, out of everywhere in the whole world, he was able to actually admit it.

Wally West was not straight.

His aunt and uncle know that he was trans, but they were the only ones. They had to. It was the only way he really got to be 'Wally' instead of... You know... 

But what would they do if they found out he was bi, too? Sure, his uncle was pan, and Aunt Iris wasn't straight either, but to be both...

He didn't want to push his luck.

It was the same with his friends, but with the added bit that they really didn't need to know he was trans. None of them had ever known him as anything but Wally. And he passed... Decently well.

His face wasn't the most masculine, yeah, but the joke was just that he looked young. He could control the way they saw that, and he messed around with it. He was the youngest of the Titans, even, so playing up the 'baby brother' jokes was fine.

They never saw him with long hair; he'd been cutting it himself since he first became Kid Flash. Sure, it wasn't even, and his messy curls never really looked good, but that was funny too. Wow, Wally's such an impulsive maniac, he cuts his own hair! What a wildcard, does he ever think anything all the way through?

And height had never been an issue, either. All he had to say was that he hit his growth spurt early - hence why he was well over five feet tall at eleven, and a little over six feet tall now at sixteen. They all just laughed, saying that's the only place puberty hit him.

The only other things that could mess him up...

No. His packer may have been homemade, but, embarrassingly enough, he had his uncle's help, so it was durable enough to withstand running around with super speed. It wasn't going anywhere.  
His period was awful, but being a speedster, it didn't really last long. It was very easy to just say Uncle B needed him in Central, and stay home a couple days feeling like shit. Well, it wasn't easy to stay home, but... It was a system, and it worked.  
And his chest... That was the most questionable one. Sure, he wasn't very big in that area, but sometimes, when you're wearing skin-tight spandex, people notice things. Roy had already pointed out how 'killer' his pecs were looking a couple of times. 

He knew that he shouldn't run in a binder, but... It was the only thing he could do. There was no conceivable way to make it work, otherwise. Besides, speedster healing might help him out?

So that was that. They didn't need to know, and he was good at hiding. 

In truth, Garth was genderqueer, so he knew the team was fine with that, but...

Garth was fine being out because no one could give him shit for anything, let alone his gender identity. He was insecure, sure, but not about that. There was that period of time when they were fourteen or fifteen when Roy was a real asshole about it, but Garth just took no shit, rolled with the punches, and ended up doing just fine.

Wally? Wally would cry if Batman so much as looked at him wrong. He had cried because Batman looked at him wrong. If Roy started to tease him for something like that... Joking or no, if wouldn't be pretty. 

"Roy's better than that..." Wally tried to convince himself, but his feelings on the matter were not budging. 

Pride month or no, it was still the closet for him, whether he liked it or not. Because even if his team would be cool with the bi thing...

That would also mean he couldn't deny his crush on Robin. All of these years he was just a 'man crush Monday' or 'if I had to pick a dude' or 'bromance buddy.' If they knew he was actually into guys...

Okay, they all teased him about it, but they didn't know. Not for real. Because admitting that would be admitting his feelings, which would mean Robin would be awkward around him, which is unforgivable in the realm of best friends. He couldn't fuck things up that badly.

So, for better or for worse, the closet. Even though, so often, it felt like he was lying.

"You're lying because you're just a straight girl playing pretend." A voice said in his head. "Now get your shit together, and-"

Wally shook his head, and decided to make himself busy around HQ. Better than staying here with just himself.

***

The next day rolled around, and they were all still dressed in their new pride get ups. It was fine. He expected as much, but this time...

This time he didn't even bother joining their conversation when they all first came into HQ. He did his perimeter check, took out the garbage, and was halfway through cleaning the bathroom when he finally started questioning what he was doing.

What was he doing? Avoiding conversation was one thing, but cleaning stuff to do it was another entirely. If he kept this up they would realize that he isn't actually that impulsive, he just doesn't want to look like the anxious freak that he is. And if they found out that he was so anxious they would start asking why...

Wally swallowed. No one knew that one, and it could stay that way. In fact, he wasn't even going to think about it. Better not to dwell on a secret you know you need to keep.

"Hey, Walls, no offense bud, but... What are you doing?" 

Startled, Wally immediately kept to his feet, spinning to face the door.

Robin laughed. "It's just me. Were you... Cleaning the floor?"

He laughed awkwardly, face turning red, and shrugged. "I got in a weird cleaning mood?"

"O-Kay..."

"Gotta ride it out when it hits." Wally continued, leaning against the stall wall, internally kicking himself for not shutting up. "Usually it's at home, and that's the only time my room ever looks organized."

"Yeah, and let me guess, it's completely destroyed a couple minutes later?"

He flushed a deeper red. "Yeah, pretty much."

"No, I was mostly asking why you were in the girls bathroom."

And just like that, all the color drained from Wally's face.

"First time you've ever been truthful to them." A voice reminded, but he ignored it.

Wally glanced around. "Huh... I guess I am."

Robin laughed. "You are such a dork."

"You know it." He flashed finger guns. "Anyway... Floor's not gonna clean itself?"

Robin chuckled. "You do that, Walls. Hey..."  
"Hey what?"

"This isn't about the whole pride month thing, right?"  
Wally blinked, then shook his head. "Pfft, no. Why would I be upset about you guys loving snd accepting yourself? I know I'm a self-centered asshole, but I'm not that much of a douche."

He laughed. "Alright, alright, just making sure. I don't want you feeling lonely, or like we're excluding you from anything."  
"Yeah, yeah. That's cool."

"Speaking of which..." Robin ran a hand through his perfect, fluffy, black curls. "The other Titans are trying to plan out going to as many pride parades as we can over the course of the month. We were wondering if you would like to tag along?"

The voice scoffed. "Yeah, join the freaks. That's where you belong."  
"Would I be allowed?"

He shrugged. "Why not?"

"Because I'm, you know..." Wally swallowed, forcing himself to say it. "Straight?"

"Yeah, of course." Robin waved him off. "You're our friend, you're coming as an ally, and you understand the significance of it. I can't think of any reason not to have you there with us. Besides, myself, a known bisexual, invited you. And I love you."

He blushed again. "Alright... That sounds great, if Uncle B'll let me."

"Of course he will... But you should probably ask anyway."

"Yeah, probably." Wally shrugged. "Don't want a repeat of the county fair incident."  
Robin snorted. "He looked literally everywhere for you."  
"And I was right there!"

"Yeah... Communication."

"Communication." Wally agreed with a nod. "And riding out this urge to clean as far as it takes me."

Robin nodded. "You do that... And Walls?"

"Yeah?"  
"If we start leaving you out too much, you'd let us know, right?"  
"Pffft, of course." Wally rolled his eyes. "What kind of annoying little brother would I be if I didn't butt into all of your fun?"

But he didn't want to be a little brother to Rob. That was the last thing he wanted here.  
Robin chuckled. "Alright, I have that report to write."

"Isn't it Donna's turn to do the mission report?"

He shook his head. "I owe her one report as part of the Mario Kart bets we made."

"...fuck."

"What? Do you owe-"

"Roy?" Wally interrupted. "Yup. I owe him something 'to be determined'."

Robin cringed. "Good luck with that."  
"I'm kinda hoping he just forgets." Wally admitted, wringing the extra water out of his wash rag. "You know, just lie low for a while."

"Roy never forgets shit like that, you know better."

"Yeah, probably." Wally grinned. "Wait. Why are you in the women's bathroom?"

"Because I saw you go in here, idiot."

"Right. Yep. You have report, and I have scrubbing."  
"Yeah... Mario Kart when you finish?"

"You're on."  
***

By the end of the day, Wally owed Donna a shoulder massage, Roy another undetermined favor, Garth a bag of chicken whizzies, and Robin would get to decide his outfit this coming Saturday.  
"But why this Saturday?" Wally asked, putting his controller back in the bin. "Is there something going on?"  
They all looked at each other, knowing looks on their faces. Wally hated that. He hated it so much. When his friends did it, when adults did it, when all the kids at his school did it - it was like everything knew something about him that they didn't think he'd realized.

That he was absolutely, completely, entirely, hopeless. Totally lost in all social situations. It was infuriating.

"Central City Pride is this Saturday." Garth finally explained. "So... You'll be dressed up."

Wally paled. "But I mean- I'll still- I can't-"  
Robin laughed. "You'll still be recognizable as Kid Flash, don't worry. I wouldn't risk exposing your secret identity."  
He nodded. "Good, yeah, that's..."

An absolute nightmare. Who knew if what Rob would pick would be able to hide a binder? What if it made him look feminine? He knew that Robin was into androgynous style these days, so what if he picked something that would make Robin himself read as androgynous, but would make him read as a girl?

"...just peachy."

"Ooh, Wally's nervous~" Roy chimed, a crooked grin on his face. "Someone's outside his comfort zone."

"Shut up, Roy."

"It'll be fine. I won't put you in a tutu or anything, I love you too much for that."

"I didn't even realize that was on the table." Wally admitted, eyes wide. "Wait. What kind of outfit are we talking about?"

"Can you actually put him in a tutu, though?" Donna asked. "That would be so cute."

"Why would that be cute? I'm not cute." He crossed his arms, feeling more than a little in over his head.

"Of course you are, Walls." Robin said, ruffling his hair. "You're the cutest."

And just like that, Wally was 100% on board with this. Robin just called him cute. Robin called him cute! This had to be one of the best days of his life. His heart was pounding, face bright red, fingers vibrating uncontrollably.

"You've got that cute little baby face." Roy piped up.

"Yeah, you're really pretty." Robin added.

...And he was back in hell. He wasn't cute like a guy, like an equal - he was cute like a kid. Or worse: pretty like a girl. Not that girls weren't equal; it was just the patronizing tone, everything...

Ugh.

Wally wrinkled his nose. "That's weird."

"What's weird?"

"Calling me pretty? It's just..." He shuddered. "Kinda strange?"

"Does that mean you're into it?" Roy waggled his eyebrow.

Wally threw a pillow at his face, blushing wildly. "Absolutely not!"

"You know, it's okay if you like being called pretty." Robin added, ruffling his hair again. "It's not that weird."

"I. Don't. Like. It." He stated, crossing his arms right over his chest. "Okay?"  
"Okay, geez." Roy raised his hands in mock surrender. "No need to get all hissy about it."

"I'm not-" Slowly, he exhaled through his nose. "Okay. Whatever."

Robin shrugged. "I mean, if you actually don't want to wear a tutu-"

"No, that's fine." Wally said, voice level. "Really, I don't mind. You won Mario Kart, after all."

He grinned. "You would think with that super speed of yours you'd be able to win..."

"Oh, shut up."

***

Wally stared at himself in the mirror, trying to muster up the courage to go join the rest of his friends. 

Uncle Barry, at least, was ecstatic to learn he was going to the parade... if a little less so when he learned he would still be in the closet to his friends. But that was just Wally guessing. Uncle B had a way of just letting him go at his own pace that Wally still couldn't fathom sometimes. It was weird, how hands-off he was. He agreed to leave Wally alone for the most part at the parade, to just let him be with his friends.

Though, in this getup, he wasn't sure he was going to the parade at all.

Robin had put him, first, in his Kid Flash costume. That was fine; he liked that part. He was fully covered, no binder worries. But it was what added on top of that base that made it terrifying.

He was in thigh-high platform boots. Thankfully they didn't really have much of a heel - even though Wally knew how to walk in heels, those were the little ones he wore to church with his family, not platforms - but the height was still... Interesting. He liked how powerful it made him feel, but the boots...

Something about the height, the shiny red vinyl, the way it hugged his thighs made him look completely, entirely, feminine. He knew his body was a nice one, if gangly, and these just showed it off. Long athletic legs, slim but still noticeable hips - he couldn't help the nausea settling into his stomach.

Then, on top of that, falling right at the smallest part of his waist, was the tutu. It was frilly and tulle, all rainbow and pretty and girly and - yeah, Wally actually might vomit right now looking at himself.

On the upper half, things were pretty normal. His normal gloves were replaced by long ones that went over his elbows, but that was fine, if a little uncomfortable. Robin had, thankfully, declined to do anything to his face. The only other thing different were the bright rainbow goggles he had on instead of his normal ones, and that wasn't noticeable... To him, at least.

They're all going to laugh, Wally though to himself, feeling around his waist. Robin's going to call you pretty again.

Pretend you don't care, he reminded himself. You don't care one bit.

So with a deep breath, Wally zipped out and into the living room. It was a conscious effort to look effortless, to be uncomfortable in the shoes, to look weirded out in a 'suitably masculine' way.

Bend your knees, pretend you don't quite know how to walk in them.

"Hey guys! Check me out!" Wally struck a few poses, all of them awkward, forcing himself to smile. "Do I look fabulous or what?"

Everyone else was dressed, ready, and gathered around to go already, but they didn't seem to be in a rush. 

"You're always getting in the way, slowing people down." The voice told him. "They're probably angry."

Robin turned bright red; he was definitely embarrassed by this choice.

But Donna laughed. "All of you guys, get together, I need a picture of this."

"But then you won't be in it." Garth pointed out.

"It's a Polaroid for my scrapbook." She reminded. "I don't need to be in it."

"Okay fine... Let's get to it."

So they all posed up against the wall, Wally finding himself in the middle next to Roy. He was the tallest one in the photo, with these boots on... And maybe not the most eye-catching, since the others certainly also amped it up. But he was right here, on full display, to be forever captured in the memory of Donna's camera. Right next to Roy.

Wally loved Roy. He really did. Even though he often took on the role of antagonizing older brother, he really did like hanging out with him and being around him a lot. Standing directly next to him? Not so much.

It was too easy to make a comparison between two redheads when they were right there. And from there, the conclusions were simple. Roy already had to shave, his face was chiseled from stone, his shoulders were broad, his arms were muscular beyond belief from his archery... And then there was Wally.

Sure, distance runners in general were built thinner, but saying he was wispy was an understatement. Willowy was a word someone used to describe him. Petite, almost, if he wasn't so damn tall. And where Roy's face was sculpted, his was shaped loosely from marshmallow fluff then sprinkled with half a ton of freckles. And a half-assed attempt at growing eyebrows.

So all in all, Roy? Great friend, terrible for the self esteem.

Donna clicked her photo, tucking it into her overall-dress's front pocket to develop. "Alright, let's get this party started!"

They all whooped, Wally joined in half-heartedly, and got going.

***

Pride was, without a doubt, one of the most amazing experiences Wally had in a long time. Even if the outfit was making him dysphoric beyond belief, just being able to be there with all of those people, knowing they were like him... Every time he saw a bi or a trans flag was like seeing home. It was just right, somehow.

"You found the freaks you belong with, fag." The voice spat; Wally paid it no mind.

Everything was just too amazing. Especially after the parade itself, when a lady from one of the booths was giving out flags. They were small, just the size of those little flags sports teams wave to support their country, but...

The trans one stood out to him. It was small. No one would notice if he had it, really; it would just add to his confidence. Maybe, just maybe, it would let him take part of the pride spirit and feeling home.

"Thank you." Wally smiled as he took one.

The lady nodded, returning the smile before moving on.

Taking the flag in his hands, he was now left staring at it. Now what would he do with it? For now, he held it so the flag was hidden, so that none of his friends could see. He ended up just shoving it down the side of his boot when no one was watching, glad now for the added height.

Even with hiding that from his friends, though... They were having such a great time. And Robin was so pretty and so happy... This time his costume was mostly white, with the scaly green shorts being an almost color-shifting gradient of the bisexual flag. Every time he looked at him he blushed - for once in his life, Wally was extremely grateful that he couldn't get a boner because right now it would be embarrassing.

"'Cause you're not actually a boy, dumb bitch." Once more, he disregarded it. 

Best part of all, though, were probably all of the people who loved seeing him. It sounded self-centered to say it like that, but... People recognized him. They knew he was the one who kept their city safe, and they loved him for it. One girl, with the ace flag painted across her cheek, told him how much safer she would feel knowing it was people like her protecting the city.  
People like her. Wally didn't stop smiling all day... Until he was on his way home, pride flag hidden in his jeans.

"People like you. Fags, losers and dykes."  
They stopped at HQ, of course, to take off their costumes before going their separate ways. Wally dressed down in simple civvies: tee shirt, torn jeans, hoodie, old sneakers, and ran on home.

Well, that cut out the part where he spent a good twenty minutes in the shower, trying to make sure there was no glitter on him anywhere. If they saw that... There would be no excuses, no keeping quiet, no cleaning that would get him out of that trouble. The flag was bad enough, but he could probably hide that. Glitter... Harder to explain.  
Going home. He couldn't think about the parade anymore, because - Wally took a deep breath - because as he turned onto his street, he knew what would be happening. His dad, watching the news, would go off on a rant about the L-G-B-T's and how they're ruining the sanctity of marriage.

How you can say gay people are ruining the sanctity of marriage when you hit your wife, Wally didn't know, but Rudolph West sure had it down. He never once questioned his beliefs, that was for sure. Confidence was not something he inherited from his father.

"I'm home." Wally announced quietly, slipping in through the front door. He slipped out of his hoodie, hanging it up on one of the coat pegs, when-

"Hey! Get down here!"

Instantly, he went pale. His dad calling for him was never good. Never. At best, it was to get him another bottle of beer. At worst... Wally swallowed. He wasn't going to think about the 'at worst' scenario today, or ever.

Except now it was all playing through his mind. Pride. He was right there, with the other Teen Titans, looking feminine and so very much like himself. There's only so much a little mask like that will hide, and his costume didn't hide a bit of his body, either. 

He saw it. He saw you, recognized you. He knows about Kid Flash and now you won't be able to do it. He knows you're queer, just doesn't know how and- and-

"Hey you fucking dyke! Get down here!"

Wally scrambled down the stairs to the basement, hoping his delay wouldn't make things worse.  
"Look at that." His dad spat, shaking his head. "Pitiful, all of them. If those are our future heroes? Well, we're all goners for sure."  
On the TV were him and his friends, all marching together. Their smiles were large and genuine, but Wally knew how he would pick every last one of them apart. It was just in the back of his head all the time, now: what would his dad say?

Roy he would call a fag and a disgrace, but he wouldn't get too mad. Despite his odd costume, enough classic masculinity was kept together for him to pass over him.

Garth he would just laugh at. Nothing more, nothing less. 

Robin, though... He could go a few different ways. He could just call him a sissy boy, a fag, and move on. Or...

Or he'd get the same kind of talk that Donna and Kid Flash would get. Wally shivered.

"Bunch of fags," he muttered. "Look at that one! Looks like you... but somehow more of a dyke."

Wally swallowed. So he didn't realize that he was Kid Flash. Relief flooded his system. No matter what followed now, at least he had that peace of mind.  
"Now go get me another beer, and stop standing there staring. Make yourself useful or something."  
Wally nodded, running off to get back to work. Silently, and surprisingly, tears were forming in his eyes.

This is why he couldn't be out to his friends. Because if he was, he knew for a fact that this was all he had to look forward to. Having his friends begrudgingly accept him and tease him lightheartedly about being trans, about being bi, and then he would have to go home and hear that same damn things from his father, just worse. They weren't jokes. They were never jokes.  
But it sure seemed like he was, these days.

"Dyke! Where's my beer?"

***

And going back to Titans HQ was like whiplash, the aches and pains of the previous day wearing away again. That happened over and over; every day, every parade. It was exhausting. But, once more, today he was the first one there.

And Robin was the second.

"Hey, Walls, you doing okay?"

"Yeah, why?"

Admittedly, Wally knew he hadn't been doing great. He was... Struggling a little bit, and it wasn't just wearing off. The whole pride thing, going to different parades... Each one seemed to show up on TV just in time for his dad to berate Kid Flash, say that 'she' should try to look more feminine, more pretty, like Wonder Girl.

And, of course, they got the exact treatment Wally knew they would.

"Not that's a lesbian waiting to be converted." His dad said about Donna late one night. "If the other one dressed like her, maybe we'd have a good girl defending our city after all, if you know what I mean... Skirt like that's easy access."

He laughed, and Wally ran to the bathroom to vomit during the commercial break. Each time, each and every time-  
"And that little one-" He frowned at Robin. "That's a little slut. Disgusting. Little boys dressing themselves like that... Unless he's actually a little girl, thinking that's how a boy dresses."

Wally swallowed, remaining silent.

"I mean, look at those hips! That ass isn't a boy's. She's a pretty little girl, too. Shame she's so caught up in this crap."

"Y-yeah." He agreed, knowing that was safer. "It's sad."  
"Of course you think it's sad. You think she's pretty, don't you?" His dad shook his head, expression souring. "And I raised you right, too. Do you need reminding?"

"No." Wally answered, petrified. "I wasn't saying she was pretty-"

But he was. So pretty. And his dad had caught him looking, staring at those long gymnast legs, Robin's perfect body. And he wasn't believing that crap for a second. 

So he swallowed, tears forming in his eyes, almost jerking backward when-

"Earth to Wally! Come in Wally!"

Wally flinched away from Robin's hand, being waved in his face. "Wait, what?"

Robin chuckled. "You really zoned out here, huh?"

HQ. He was in HQ, not the basement of his house. He was Wally West. Kid Flash.

Still trying to calm his breath, he nodded. "What were we talking about?"

"I was asking if you're okay. Recently you've been..."  
"Tired?" Wally finished. "I know. I guess I just don't do as well in the summer. No structure and all..."  
He nodded. "I guess that makes sense... But you've been a little off, lately. I'm worried about you."

"It's probably all the lying you've been doing, you bitch." His dad's voice echoed in his head.

Wally shrugged. "I don't know. It'll probably go away?"  
"That can't be your solution to everything."

But it was. It had to be.  
"Well, it's my solution to this." He grinned. "Now I'm starving, what's for lunch?"  
"Whatever's in the fridge, probably."

"Race you to it?"

"Hey! No fair-!"

***

It had been a long, tiring week, but Star City pride still started out amazing. Everyone was having a great time, Wally was feeling it... Things were great. Here, there was nothing that could hold him down.

It was amazing how that same feeling kept picking him up, no matter how much he fell down in between.

But despite that, Wally wandered off. He wasn't trying to, but it was the end of the parade, and something in him just couldn't stay here any longer. 

Just being around here made him afraid, somehow. Being around other people like him could have him admitting it, and-

Eventually he ended up down an alleyway, where he got a little bit of a break. Deep breaths. Inhale, exhale. It's all alright. It's okay. Everyone is safe here. Wally couldn't believe it, though, as he wandered farther and farther away. 

But he had better. He had his break, and now it was about time to start trying to find the parade again.

A man seemed to materialize from the shadows, staring him in the eye. He was big, tall, and-

Wally froze.

"Are you looking for the parade?" He asked, looking him up and down.

"Uh, y-yeah, I-"

He punched him in the face.

Wally wasn't expecting it. That was the reason he gave his teammates when he got back to them again, his eye already swollen and blackened. It startled him so bad he fell over for a couple seconds while the guy ran off. Disappeared again.

"Serves you right, bitch." His dad's voice kept taunting.

But he was safe now. Back with friends... If anywhere could really be safe. That man was scary, yeah, but only to Wally. Only because he was big. He could be anyone-

"Serious? You got that just now?" Roy raised an eyebrow. "Wait, fuck. Healing factor. That means your bruises look nasty sooner, too."

Back to reality: friends.

"Accelerated healing." Wally nodded. "Pretty convenient, if I do say so myself."

Donna blinked. "Who hit you?"

"A guy... In an alley." Wally explained, face growing red. "Yeah, it's stupid."

Garth smashed his face into his arm in a way that could only be described as the most half-assed hug ever. "You're so fucking stupid, I love you."

"We should probably get back to put some ice on that." Robin frowned, taking a step closer. "Even with your healing, that's pretty swollen."

He shrugged. "It's not too bad."

"It's not too bad?" Roy shifted his weight to one hip. "Coming from Wally, who freaks out with every injury he gets?"

"Every actual injury." Wally clarified, not adding: the kind people notice. "This'll heal by the time we get back."

Roy raised an eyebrow. "Bet."

"You're on."

***

Of course, Wally already knew it would be gone. He had it down to a science how long it takes different bruises, cuts, and scrapes to heal. This was easy. He got back to HQ first, too, and quickly dressed back in his civvies.

"Just cover it up." His mother's voice instructed; he could feel how she rolled her eyes. "And quit your crying."

One would think that, for someone going through basically the same thing as her, she'd be sympathetic, but no. Mary West wanted a son, and she made it no secret she was disappointed.  
In her own way, she hated him as much as his dad, but-

HQ. Friends.

"Is it gone?" 

"What?" Wally shook his head, pulling himself back into reality. "What'd you say?"

"Damn, it really is gone." Robin got up close, on his tiptoes, careful fingers prodding around his eye. "I didn't remember your healing factor being that quick."

Now that he was aware of him, Wally could feel his face heating up. Rob was right up close, touching his face, their faces not really all that far apart. His lips were right there...

He leaned up, pressing a kiss his cheek right below the eye. "Kiss to make it all better?"

Wally swore this guy would be the death of him. "Y-yeah... Done in a flash?"

He chuckled, rolling his eyes. "Sure, Walls. Sure."

But then, looking at Rob, his dad was all he could hear in his head. The awful things he said about him. About his body. About the things he said he'd do to beat the sense into him. They all overlapped in one horrible, overwhelming flood of words.

"Anyway, I should-" Wally swallowed. "Get going. I have... To go."

Robin raised an eyebrow. "O-Kay... See you tomorrow?"

"Y-yeah. Tomorrow."

And he ran. Faster, faster, and faster until he couldn't go any faster than this and still his thoughts caught up with him.

Was he really trans, or just another teenage girl obsessed with Robin?

Sure he knew that being bi was a thing, that it was real and it's own identity, but those nagging thoughts at the back of his head still kept saying it wasn't good enough. Was he really just into guys? 

Did that make him a straight girl?

Or was he into girls? If he was, did that make everything his dad had said about him true? That he was just a bitch who needed a man to teach her better? That he just needed more discipline? Could he really fix 'her'?

Had he already, and was that why he was into Robin?

Sure, Rob was bi, but did that mean he would date someone who's trans?

Robin. Everything about Robin running through his head was intense and too strong and, no, he definitely wasn't just into girls because this feeling was real and strong and all-consuming.

The way he had to get on his tiptoes to do things. How his brows knit together when he's concerned. The gentleness of his gloves on Wally's face, and the little kiss he pressed there.

But did that make him straight?

Was he trans enough? Did he fit the flag? Or had him taking it those weeks ago just denied a real trans person the opportunity to have one? 

He had hidden it in his closet, too: partially as a joke, partially as a hiding spot. It was perfect, and he wouldn't forget where he put it.

But the words his dad said about 'transgenders' echoed in his mind, pulsing like a headache. That they were all just faking it for attention. That trans girls are disappointments, and trans boys just weren't pretty enough dykes so they decided to 'switch over.'

His dad's words about 'converting' his friends from lesbianism like he had already tried on-

Wally slipped. Loose gravel flew, limbs flailed, and his face landed itself firmly in the center of the road.

Wait. Where was he?

In the middle of nowhere, from the looks of it. Gravel road, woods on either side, completely secluded. Entirely alone.

Wally pulled himself up, sitting himself down right in the middle of the road where he was. 

He'd never be good enough for either side.

Tears started flowing at that, thinking about how true it was.

He wasn't a pretty girl. No, he was too tall, too gangly, too boyish. With his curly hair and lack of eyebrows and total failings to grasp feminine graces. His knees were always scraped, and he cut his legs shaving. Clothes were just covering to him, not fashion. The only makeup he wore was to hide on days he couldn't even summon the speedforce to heal.

He could never be a good girl.

But as a boy... He was too pretty, somehow. He liked other boys too much, and that wasn't masculine at all. His voice was high pitched and 'gay.' He was afraid of surgeries farther down the line.

He could never be a good guy, either.

Hanging his head between his knees, Wally started to cry. It felt stupid, but... It was just so lonely. Having to pretend all the time, to be straight, to be a girl, to be extra-masculine, to not give a fuck, to hide the bruises and the marks and the-

Wally covered his ears, as if that would block out thoughts.

No, he needed to think things through right. The school therapist told him, once, that the first thought in your head is what other people have said to you. So... That made sense with some of this shit. He just needed to calm the fuck down.

Deep breaths. Wipe your eyes.

He knew that he was a boy. He knew that. All of the doubts about just being a deluded girl were all things that his mom said about other people. She would talk about how sad they were; how awful it was they were stuck in their ways.

No, he was a boy. That was a fact. Even if he wasn't 'very good' at it, he was.

And he was bi. He knew that he had crushes on girls, most of which short lived, but they still happened. There was Linda from elementary school... Yeah. All of those feelings were real.  
And he knew that he was into guys. Robin was a painful reminder of that.

And Robin wasn't transphobic. If he didn't want to date Wally, it would be because of who he was, not because of how he was born... Which was a valid enough fear, but still a huge weight off his chest.

And his dad-

Wally swallowed. He didn't think about that. He tried to never think about that, especially around his friends.  
Kid Flash was a personality he got to put on, Wally West almost felt like a personality sometimes, when he just got to leave all of that shit behind him. Kid Flash was bright and happy and excited - and he wanted to be. He wanted so badly to be like that. Kid Flash almost let him just relax and, well... Act his age.

He wanted so badly to just still be young.

He just wanted to be good.

But how could he be into Robin, when now every time he looked at him all he heard was his father's voice? How could he talk to him, cuddle with him, kiss him even when that's what he was thinking of?

If he was in a relationship with Rob, would it turn into what his parents had? Would he get angry and hit? Would he stop understanding the word 'no'? If they had kids, would he get angry they didn't turn out 'right,' or would he turn a blind eye to what was going on?

Wally took a deep breath, tears just pouring from his eyes, and just lay down in the middle of the road. He didn't want to get run over; he knew he'd survive. No, he just wanted to lie here and let the earth reclaim his body. That's what it felt like, right now.

He was too tired for this shit.

How could Robin be attracted to him, though? Being trans was the least of his problems. How could he want him after-

He didn't like to think about what his dad did. But after that? How could he keep playing with the idea that Rob would-

"You okay?" Donna floated down from the sky, sitting down next to him. "You really ran off, there."

Somehow, her showing up didn't really surprise him. 

Wally sighed, reaching up to wipe his eyes again. "I know."

"What is it? What's wrong?"

"Nothing, really..." He lied, slowly pulling himself up to sitting position. "Just got a little overwhelmed."

"Is this about the guy in Star?"

Wally shook his head, reflexively reaching up to touch his eye. "I've taken a punch before."

"I know it's different, Wally." Donna sighed, pressing her eyes shut. "When someone hurts you on normal patrol, it's fine. But when someone hits you out of the blue, or for doing something you know is right, or just for who you are..."

His shoulders relaxed; if only she knew. "Yeah..."

"And I wanted to apologize." She added, taking in a deep breath through her nose. "I've been really pressuring you to come out, and... That's not okay. I'm sorry for that."

"It's cool." Wally shrugged, trying not to cry thinking about what she just said. "I mean, I'm straight anyway, but-"

"Even so, it want cool of me."

"Yeah, but you're fine."

Donna frowned. "I was still being an asshole."

"Doesn't really matter to me."

"O-kay..." She gave him a weird look. "Well... Wally, we know about your crush on Robbie."

Wally rolled his eyes. "It's not a real crush, it's just the joke... Like the other thing."

This conversation was quickly growing uncomfortable, Wally squirming in his costume. This was-

Donna scooted a little closer, so their shoulders were touching. "Wally, it that really the truth, though?"

"No." He immediately said, forced by the lasso of truth. "My crush on Rob isn't just a joke, and I'm not straight."

The lasso of truth. She wasn't apologizing for what she'd done; she was apologizing for what she was about to do.

Wally jerked away, standing up in an instant. He was too shocked to say a word.

"I'm sorry." Donna stood up as well. "I just wanted you to admit it to yourself, at least. I'm not going to-"

"Didn't everyone already know the truth well enough!?" He shook his head, starting to pace. "I can't believe this. After you come here, following me, to apologize for trying to force me to come out before I was ready?"

She winced. "I-"

"No, I'm just-" Wally yelled, unable to keep in all the frustration. "Well, there it is, are you happy now?"

"I swear, Wally, I was just trying to help you move-"

"I'm good, thanks." His fists trembled, body totally flushed from anger. "Goodbye, Donna. I hope that was worth it."

And when he ran away, his mind was surprisingly quiet.

***

When Wally finally came home that night, his dad was sitting in his room, holding the little trans flag in his hands. He could feel his heart die then and there, body running cold.

***

Everything hurt.

***

Seventeen missed calls, sixty eight unread text messages. Wally knew most of them were his friends, but... He couldn't bare to read them. He would respond to his uncle, but only to make sure he didn't show up here worrying about him.

He didn't even have the energy to get out of bed. The speedforce had totally left him here to rot.

***

The speedforce was back, and he was hungry. Unbearably hungry.

***

"Wow, Wally, you're back!" Roy grinned, lightly elbowing him as he walked in. "You okay? How's it goin'?"

He faked a smile, shrugging. "It's going."

"Seriously? What have you been doing for the past week? You haven't responded to any of our calls, or texts..."

"I know, I'm sorry." Wally shrugged again. "I just had stuff I needed to do... You know, secret identity stuff...?"

That was an awful lie.

"Ah, yeah, I get that." He nodded. "That sucks. Have fun, though?"

"Not really..." Broken noses take about three days to heal, more serious cuts and gashes and bruises take about four, and broken ribs can take a whole week... Especially if it takes a few days for the speedforce. "I missed you guys."

Donna ruffled his hair. "And we missed you too, Walls."

Donna. The last time he saw her he yelled at her.

Did Rob already know?

"Hey, Wally's back!" Garth declared, slinging an arm around him. "Where the fuck have you been?"

At home in bed, crying, trying to convince himself to get it together. "Secret ID stuff... Really boring stuff, too."

"Like what?"

Wally shrugged. "Whatever. My parents were just getting after me for a few things."

"Is it bad to say I always forget you have parents?" Donna asked. "I know you refer to the Flash and Iris as your aunt and uncle, but... I always just think of them as your parents instead."

"Yeah, same." Roy agreed. "I can't imagine living with someone other than my mentor."

"I've talked about this before." Wally rolled his eyes, hoping to quickly change the topic. "They don't even live in the same state."

"Really?"

"Yeah." Robin swung in. "Central is in Ohio, and you should all remember where he's from. Remember? That trivia game we played?"

"Ooh, trivia?" Garth cracked his knuckles. "I loved that game, are we playing? I have a weirder fact about myself."

Wally shook his head. "Nah, we were just-"

"Should we play?" Robin interrupted. "I mean, we're all here."

"Yeah."

"Sure."

"I would love that."

Wally shrugged. "Sure?"

"Alright." Robin smiled, all perfect and adorable. "Walls, can you go get the-"

He ran out, grabbing the markers and bin, quickly cutting the paper into smaller pieces.

"-Supplies?"

Robin smiled, leaning up and pressing a kiss to his cheek. "You're incredible."

Wally turned scarlet. "Okay, let's, uh.... Let's play?"

"Ooh, somebody's got a crush~"

He threw a pillow at him. "Shut up, Roy."

And just like that, things were back to normal. He was still angry with Donna, but... That was just how life was.

They all grabbed a slip of paper and a market to write down their fact. That was how the game worked, after all: write a true fact you don't think anyone will guess about you, put them all in the bin, take turns drawing them and try to guess whose is whose. Simple enough; he rarely won, but it was fun.

The real question was, what to write. Wally's mind was completely blank. Nothing worth writing happened in his personal life, that was for sure. Nothing new had really happened at all...

Unless he decided to write the truth. Did it even matter that he kept secrets anymore? These were his friends; he should be able to trust them.

It was all out there anyway.

"Does everybody have something written down?" Garth asked, dropping his slip of paper into the bin.

Wally took a deep breath, wrote, and dropped his in. Too late to go back now.

"No." Roy groaned. "It's so hard to think of something, we know each other too well now."

"Then think of something." Donna dropped her piece in. "Robbie?"

"Mine's already in." Robin answered. "We're just waiting on Roy."

"Fine, there. Good." He put his piece in, then mixed it up. "Who's going first?"

Donna elbowed him. "Why don't you do it, since you were the slowest?"

"Ha ha, but sure. Okay..." Roy reached in, feeling around...

Wally was sweating now. Why did he decide to put that in? Did he have to say it like that?

"Okay, got one." He pulled it out of the bin. "I think leopard print is better than people give it credit for."

"What the fuck." Garth blinked. "Uh... I'm gonna say Robin."

"Same." Donna agreed. "That sounds like Robbie."

"Mm..." Roy frowned. "I'm going with Donna. She is into Cheetah, after all..."

"Am not!" She turned bright red.

"Sure." He raised his eyebrows. "So I still say Donna."

Robin nodded. "I say Donna too."

"Mm..." Wally frowned. "I'm saying Rob on this one."

"Alright! Next one." Roy passed the bin over to Garth.

"Okay... Fuck, that's mine. Are you allowed to draw your own?"

Robin nodded. "Sure, why not?"

"Okay. Wait, now you all know it's mine."

"Yeah." Roy nodded. "Dumbass."

Garth stuck his tongue out at him. "Okay, new one: I have a boyfriend and a girlfriend."

"Hmm..." Donna frowned, brows furrowed in thought. "I already said Rob, so I'll guess that's Roy."

"You can pick the same person twice, Donna... And I'm saying Garth." Robin decided. "I think that's still yours."

"Cheating?" Garth raised his eyebrows. 

"No, using tools of observation."

Wally nodded. "Yeah, I'm going to agree. Garth."

"Yeah, same." Roy agreed.

Donna shook her head. "I'm sticking with Roy."

"Mm..." Garth frowned. "I'm gonna say... Wally."

"What?" Wally blinked with surprise, trying to make sense of that. "Why?"

He shrugged. "Because you're the least likely to be on a relationship, so it'd be funny... And it'd explain what you were doing for the last week."

Roy elbowed him. "Less likely than you?"

"You said it was me, though."

"For the same reason you said Wally."

Garth frowned. "Fair. Okay, here's the bin, Donna."

"Thank you, Gar." Donna took it, digging in for a slip. "Okay... My favorite food is pot roast?"

They all sat silently for a moment.

"...well, we know it's not Wally." Garth pointed out. "So... I'm going with Roy. That's not Donna."

"Uhh... Sure." Wally nodded. "Roy."

Robin nodded. "Roy."

"Mm..." Donna squinted. "Since it is food, and if you knew Wally you'd know his favorite food changes daily..."

Roy rolled his eyes.

"I'm saying Wally." Donna decided.

"As much as it pains me to agree with Donna..." 

She rolled her eyes. "It pains you to agree with anyone, Roy."

"Yeah, true." He shrugged. "I'm saying Wally."

"Okay." Donna passed the bin to Robin. "Next round."

"Alright..." He reached in, digging around like there were more than two in there.

Walk knew what one of them said. As nerve wracking as it was when he first put it in, though... Oddly enough, he found himself not caring. The worst that could happen now is that they would laugh. He wouldn't have to go home and hear those jokes repeated ever again. 

He just wasn't going home.

"Okay." Robin pulled one out. "Really? Okay... My favorite movie as a kid was the Aristocats."

Garth nearly choked. "Donna, because she likes pussy."

Donna's hand flew over her mouth, jaw dropped, holding back laughter. "Alright then..."

Wally shrugged. "Yeah, Donna. Why not?"

Robin nodded. "Yeah, Donna, I'm saying you too."

Roy shrugged. "I'm going with Wally."

"I know the answer to this one." Donna declared. "Roy."

"Don't know what the fuck you're talking about."

Robin passed the bin to Wally and... Fuck, now he was going to have to say it. That was the hard part, though. After that? It was all out there. Nothing could be worse than before.

He reached in, pulled it out, and pretended to read it. "I'm not straight."

"That's Garth humor if I've ever heard it." Donna pointed out. "So, Gar."

"I'll second that." Roy agreed.

Wally stayed silent.

Garth feigned shock. "Me? Not straight? I say it's Robin."

Robin looked around the room, then said, in a quiet voice: "It's Wally."

He knew. How did he know? Did Donna tell him after all? Wally's heart was beating a thousand miles an hour, but... It was fine. In fact, that just meant he wouldn't panic about it... Right?

Roy raised an eyebrow. "Wally?"

Wally grinned, doing little finger guns. "And I say Wally too."

"Wait. You're finally coming out?" Garth cocked his head to the side. "Like, officially?"

"I'm bi." He managed to admit, a little easier this time.

Roy ruffled his hair. "You could have told us, you know."

"I didn't want you making fun of me." Wally admitted, feeling stupid as soon as he said it. "And I mean... Someone already knew."

Donna stared at the floor.

Robin shrugged. "I... Might have had my suspicions."

"Yeah, that sounds right." Garth shrugged. "But Wally's not the token straight friend anymore."

"Oops." Wally grinned. "And, uh..."

He swallowed. Could he tell them? It didn't seem possible, but... They knew about the other part already. It wouldn't hurt to tell them the whole truth, right?

"They might as well know that you're a complete freak." His dad's voice added.

Wally took a deep breath... And then chickened out. "And... Yep. I'm really fucking bi."

No one freaked out. No one laughed. They all looked at each other like they knew it the whole time, but... It wasn't the same kind of knowing look. This time they looked a little bit... Proud.

Robin wrapped his arm around him, smashing a kiss into his cheek. "I'm happy you felt safe enough to tell us."

He blushed. "Is it stupid that it took this long?"

"Nah," Roy shook his head. "With assholes like us as friends, it's amazing you came out at all."

"C'mere, Walls." Donna stood up, beckoning him over. "I've gotta hug you."

Wally smiled, weight practically falling off his shoulders as he stood up, practically speeding across the living room into Donna's arms. 

He still hasn't quite forgiven her, but damnit, he wasn't giving up this moment.

Immediately, tears were welling up in his eyes. He didn't mean to cry, but suddenly it all just came crashing down. 

Everything that he was afraid of... Happened. It all fell apart. 

His parents found out. His mom found the flag in his closet. She told his dad. And it was every bit as horrible as he was afraid it would be and worse.

But that was over now, and... And Donna gave the best hugs, mad at her or no.

"Hey, shh... Group hug."

Then they were all here, and...

Wally sniffled. "Thanks, guys."

"We love you, Walls." Robin whispered, still holding him close. "Now, who was pot roast?"

He laughed, still trying to keep his nose from running. "It really wasn't me."

"Me neither." Robin said. "So..."

Donna pulled away from the hug, raising one hand. "Guilty... Though it's a version from Thymescira."

"Then the boyfriend and girlfriend are...?"

"Yeah, that's me." Garth grinned. "Kaldur asked Tula and I out."

"Aww, that's great, I'm so happy for you guys." 

Wally couldn't help but smile. Roy cheered, then flopped Garth's hair into his face. 

Gar laughed. "Okay, leopard print?"

Robin nodded. "That's me."

"...I really should have known that." Wally shook his head. "Which leaves... Aristocats?"

Roy blushed. "Hey, I was rushed for time!"

They all laughed, and for the first time all month, Wally felt actually free.

***

"Hey, Wally?"

Dick had gone to go write their report, and Roy and Garth went to spar, leaving just Wally and Donna in the living room.

"Yeah?"

"What I did really was awful." She stated, looking down at the floor. "I knew it was when I did it, but... I guess I didn't think it through. And that was really shitty of me, 'cause I'm not the one who dictates when you come out."

Wally found himself unable to stay mad at her. After all, it was basically out there already... And he couldn't bring himself to really be angry, anymore. He was too tired.

"I forgive you." He said, letting out a sigh. "It was awful, you're right, but... I know you weren't being mean."

Donna gave an awkward laugh. "I'm sorry. And... You weren't gone because you were mad, right?"

"Fuck no." Wally shook his head. "It really was just family stuff. Not all of us have tempers like you, Donna."

She blushed, elbowing him a little. "Well, apparently you have quite the temper too."

"Yeah..."

Would he hit someone? The idea scared Wally to death. When he was angry-

"Now come on, let's go spar with the others."

Wally nodded, following along silently.

***

That night, he couldn't sleep. It had been a long time since he had slept at HQ, but he still didn't remember it being this hard. This used to be his safe spot; what happened? It was a bed, same as he had back home, if not better. 

No, definitely better, and he had slept far worse places. So...

"I'm gonna have to get used to it..." Wally reminded himself. "It's better than being in that shithole."

The most surprising thing, after last week, was that he wasn't kicked out of the house entirely. He fully expected to be thrown out, to be left on the street, but instead he was just left bleeding on the basement floor.

Sighing, Wally got up. Apparently he just wasn't sleeping at all tonight. And the mirror was right there...

He knew he shouldn't have, but he looked at himself anyway. It was just too much to resist.

He looked like shit. Not as bad as he had, but... A scar now marked his forehead where there had been a jagged cut from a beer bottle. Dark circles hung heavily under his eyes. His skin looked pale. He was too thin.

And somehow, he felt the strongest he ever had. Scared? Yeah. Of course he was scared. Even though he mostly came out, even though it was all okay... Something in his body didn't know how to relax. He spent so long freaking out all the time that now...

Fuck. His uncle didn't know about any of this. All he knew was that his parents were upset about something, and he needed to lay low for a while.

He needed to go tell him. He was just looking for his suit, when-

Someone knocked on the door.

"Uh, who is it?"

"Robin."

Wally panicked, immediately throwing off his shirt, tugging on his binder, and pulling his shirt back over again. Even if they knew about the bi thing... He wasn't ready for them to know the whole truth. Especially not Robin.

He opened the door. "Hey, Robbie. What're you doing here so late?"

"Um..." Robin stared down at the floor. "Can I come in?"

"Sure." Wally backed up, letting him in. "Seriously, though. I thought Bats wanted you home in time for patrol unless we're like, doing something special here."

"I needed to finish something up." He explained, shifting his weight from side to side. "Then I realized you were still here. You normally have to go home too, right?"

Wally winced. "I mean, normally, but... Things are just a little tense right now."  
"Wally, you'd tell me the truth if I asked you, right?"  
"Of course." He shrugged. "Seriously, what is it, Robbie?"

"Wait." Robin froze. "What's that on your head?"

"What do you mean?"

"That's a new scar; I don't remember it being there." He pointed out, reaching up and touching his forehead. "Where'd you get it?"

Of course he had to be observant. "Some asshole hit me with a beer bottle."

Not technically wrong, so not actually lying? But if Rob noticed it, did that mean Uncle B would too? He'd be a lot harder to convince, since he knew for a fact Wally wasn't on patrol at all.

"Yikes." He said, not entirely sounding like he was sure. "I just wanted to ask you... Everything is alright with you, right?"

Wally blinked. "Yeah, why?"

"You've just seemed... Okay. I'm just going to say it." Robin frowned. "I'm worried about you. You were acting... A little off, then you were gone for a week. Donna said you two had a falling out and that it was her fault. I was concerned, so I asked your uncle, and..."

"And he gave a shitty answer?" He guessed. "Uncle Barry doesn't mean to do that, he's just... Spacey. All speedsters are, really, it's just-"

"He sounded more freaked out than I was, but he said you were taking time off because of your family." Robin continued. "And... I wanted to make sure everything was alright with you."

Okay. That was it. Wally could feel his shoulders relax.

"Yeah, I'm good."

"And that's the thing!" He pinched the bridge of his nose. "You keep answering like that, but you're glancing around as you're talking, fidgeting, blinking a lot..."

Wally could feel his heart pounding. "Look, Rob, I..."

"I'm not asking you to tell me everything, because I know that's unrealistic for me to expect. Just... Know that I'm here for you, and if you need to take more time off for your mental health, there's no shame in that. In fact, take care of yourself. Alright?"

He nodded. "Yeah. I... I get it. Thanks, Robin."

"Anytime, KF... And know you can trust us, okay?"

"Okay."

Wally's heart was in his throat as Robin left, his brows still furrowed.

Robin knew something was wrong. That meant his days were numbered.

But he was out of trouble now. All that Rob could find out now was that he was trans, or that he currently lived at HQ... Or that he had a crush on him. The third was a whole lot worse than the second, and the first was just scary, but... Other than living here, these things had been going on for years.

And if Robin, even being Batman's legendary detective sidekick, hadn't figured it out by now, Wally doubted he would ever get it.

And would he even need to tell Uncle B anyway? He wouldn't figure it out. It wasn't like he ever really went to his house to check up on him... Unless he was really worried.

With a deep sigh, Wally grabbed his phone and made the call. It was probably best.

"Hey Wally, what's shaking?" Barry answered just like he always did, bright and cheerful, as if it wasn't two in the morning. "Everything okay with you?"

"Well..." He swallowed; this was it. "No, not really."

"What is it? Do I need to come get you from somewhere? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Uncle B, just..." It wasn't like he needed to tell him all of it. "I got kicked out of my house."

"Wally, I'm so sorry." Barry let out a little sigh. "Are you alright?"

Wally looked at the scar on his head in the mirror. "Yeah, I'm fine. They just found out about the whole trans thing, and..."

"Oh my gosh. I... I wish that never had to happen to you, you deserve so much better - Where are you right now?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Because I want to find you and hug you, or bring you back home... To my house, I mean." Barry explained. "Are you somewhere safe? Or do you need help moving anything? You know you're 100% welcome to stay with your aunt and I."

"I know." Wally couldn't help the little smile tugging at his lips. "I'm staying at Titans HQ for now, but...."

"Yeah, I understand. Who would want to stay with their crusty old aunt and uncle when they could crash with their best friends?"

"I never said that!" 

Barry laughed. "I'm just trying to lighten things up... Seriously though, so you need anything?"

Wally shook his head, then felt silly because that didn't translate over the phone. "Nah, Uncle B. I'm good... Might drop in tomorrow for-"

Before he could finish his sentence, Barry's arms were being wrapped around him, holding him in a tight hug. 

"Hey, Wally, it's okay... Shh..." Barry rocked gently back and forth as he hugged him, like he was one of the twins who needed to be put to bed. "We're here for you, you know that."

Wally nodded, burying his face deeper into his shoulder.

When they finally broke away, he was surprised to find he wasn't crying. Uncle Barry was, but his eyes were completely dry. Maybe he got all of that out earlier?

He just felt kind of... Numb.

"What's that? Right there?" Of course, he immediately noticed the scar. "That bastard hurt you, didn't he?"

Wally forced a laugh. "Nah, I hit my head on my science fair trophy when I was moving stuff. He yelled a lot, but... I don't think he'd ever hit me." 

Lies. Lies and lies and lies. Why was he still defending him?

He knew why, but it still felt wrong.

"Alright, Wally." Barry let out a sigh of relief. "I'm glad you're okay, and... If you ever want to talk, you know your aunt and I are always here for you."

"Yeah, I know."

"Now, you should get some sleep, kiddo." He ruffled his hair. "Night, Wall-man."

"Goodnight, Uncle B."

"Liar." His dad's voice spat as Barry zipped away through the wall.

***

June passed into July, and everything was still very much the same. Wally had talked it out with Aunt I and Uncle B that he would stay at Titans HQ over the summer, and live with them when school started up again. Of course, there was a lot more paperwork than that, but...

It was fine. They would figure it out. And they both insisted they didn't mind.

It wouldn't be too bad. Especially since, surprisingly, his parents weren't doing a thing to get him back. Or maybe that wasn't a surprise at all. His dad knew what kind of a woman Iris was; if he came to get Wally, she would take him to court, as far as he knew.

His dad didn't know that Wally hadn't told them about the whole thing, which provided a little bit of security but... There was also a little bit of sadness with it.  
He knew his parents didn't care. He hated them both. But at the same time... A part of Wally would always have to make peace with the fact he couldn't please them.

And he was always the first one to get to HQ, so it wasn't like his friends would really notice he had been staying here. They could assume that everything was fine and move on.  
The only problem was Robin. Wally couldn't lie for shit around him, and he was getting suspicious, to say the least. Things had calmed down a little bit after he had confronted him in his room, but not much.

It was like when Roy's addiction was flaring up, or when Garth was getting really depressed. The way Robin cared about things like this had never been turned on him before, though. It was strange, and...

A little bit unwelcome, if he was honest. Having Robin take an interest in him sounded like what he wanted all along, but this? This felt scary. It was almost like he broke the law or something, and now he was on the run.

Every time he got close to him he wanted to admit the truth. He wanted to let it all go, but-

He didn't break the law, though, and the authority chasing him was actually just his crush. There was no obligation to tell him anything.

But he couldn't let his friends just figure it out. They didn't think he was any weaker or anything from being bi, but if they knew everything, what had been going on for so long...

He had super speed. He had the power to duck, to dodge any hit coming for him, and... He didn't. He saved kids from bad homes, made sure they were safe, protected them from abusers, but he couldn't do the same for himself. It took until now, until believing that his father might just kill him, to finally run away.

He couldn't even tell his best friends he was trans.

Wally West was a coward, and soon his friends would see that too. If he couldn't even stand up for himself, how could he standup for others? And if Uncle B found out...

"Knock knock." Roy's voice from outside his room interrupted Wally's thoughts. "Can I come in?"

"Uh... Sure. It's unlocked."

"Look, I know I'm an asshole." He started.

Wally raised an eyebrow. "Nothing good you say ever starts like that."

"I never say anything good, now shh, let me finish." Roy shifted his weight, letting out a breath. "Now that you admit that you're into guys..."

"Uh huh."

"Come on. You and Rob. One of you has gotta make a move." Roy ran a hand through his hair. "And... Wait, are you like, staying here-staying here right now?"

Wally shrugged, trying to play it off cool. "Just for the summer."  
"...o-kay. But anyway, what I was saying is... If one of you doesn't tell the other, I'm going to do it myself at this point."

"Wait." He froze, trying to process that. "Did you say one of us?"

"Uh, yeah. You can't possibly think that Robbie isn't into you." Roy snorted. "I mean, it's pretty fucking obvious. He's always kissing you on the cheek, calling you cute, hugging you, getting all close..."

Wally blushed. "I mean, not really, and he's like that with all of us."  
"No. No he's not." He shook his head. "You're just oblivious, KF."

"I'm not that oblivious, I just don't think that he'd be-" 

"That he'd be what?" Roy walked right over, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "You don't think he'd be into you?"

"...no, not exactly..."

"Come on, Wall-man, where's some of that confidence?"

All faked, Wally wanted to say; instead, he shrugged. "I don't know. Robin just makes me nervous... Especially how he's been lately."  
"That too." Roy nodded. "He's really worried about you, and I think part of that is just how you've been acting since you're into him. You know, avoiding him, not talking as much as you normally do, answering weirdly, not looking him in the eye..."

"I mean, yeah." Wally sighed, sitting down next to him, letting the tension go from his shoulders. "Does it really seem like something's wrong?"

"Yes." He said simply. "That too. I don't think Rob is the only thing you're dealing with right now."  
"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means we're all dealing with our own shit." Roy shrugged. "And it's just weird because we've never really seen you struggle like this before. You're always our wonderful, annoying little brother, KF. So now that you're a little down..."

"Robin's freaking out about it?" Wally finished. "I guess that makes sense, but... Why?"

"Because he likes you." He stated again. "And what do you mean, why?"  
"I don't know. I'm just... Maybe I have been a bit frazzled."  
Roy laughed. "You most definitely have. There's no doubts about that. And my best guess is that it has something to do with the week-long absence... And the scar you came back with at the end of it."

Wally's hand immediately flew up to cover it. "Is it that obvious?"

"Not to someone who hasn't known you since you were a jittery eleven-year-old." He assured him. "But it's definitely there, and it was pretty nasty, wasn't it?"

The image of what it looked like flashed through Wally's mind, all sticky blood dripping down his face, jagged, with bits of glass sticking out. He had to pick out every single one with his shaky hands, tears running down his face.

"Yeah." Wally whispered, then swallowed. "It wasn't pretty."  
"And Rob's saying it has something to do with your family." Roy continued. "Since that's where you told Barry you were. And because... This is just Rob's guessing, okay? If it's wrong... You know how some of is shit gets sometimes."

"Like conspiracy theories." He nodded. "I know."

"Because your mom called the police on your dad once, resulting in an arrest for domestic violence with no pressed charges, Robin thinks there was something going on at your house, specifically." He continued to explain, staring at his hands as he twisted them together. "Then the first thing you did when you came back-"

"Was come out." Wally finished, raising an eyebrow. "Which means Rob thinks that my parents found out, freaked out..."

"And now you're living here." Roy stated. "Does that sound completely crazy?"  
Wally laughed. "Yeah, pretty much."

"Okay." Roy nodded. "Good to know."  
But he didn't look like he believed that one bit. 

Roy knows. He doesn't know how weak you are exactly yet, but he will eventually. And so will Robin. They'll all know.

"I'll let Rob know that." Roy added, ruffling his hair. "He gets pretty off base... But I'm still saying."

"Saying what?"

"Will you tell him, or should I?"

"No." He immediately answered. "Yes? I don't know... I don't want to have to tell him, but I don't want you to..."  
"I understand that." Roy reassured him. "It's no pressure. Rob gets a little intimidating, sometimes."

"I don't want that to be how he sees me, though, if he doesn't like me." Wally confessed. "I don't want him to pity me, you know? I've got a crush on him? That's pretty fucking weak."

He blinked in surprise, brows knitting together. "No it's not."

"I mean... It kinda is."

"It really isn't." Roy shook his head. "I mean, remember back when I had a crush on Donna?"

Wally snorted a laugh. "Way back."

"Yeah, yeah," His cheeks flushed. "Not the point. None of you thought I was weak, though, right?"

"But you never could be, Roy. You guys already joke about me being weak."  
Roy's eyes went wide as he pulled away from their half hug. He grabbed Wally's shoulders, turning him to face him. "Absolutely not."  
"What?"

"No one think's you're weak, Wally." He explained with surprising sincerity. "None of us. And definitely not because of something silly like a crush."

"But you will when you learn." His dad taunted.

"Okay."

"No, I need you to believe me." Roy let out a shaky breath. "What will that take?"

"You're taking this awfully seriously." Wally shrugged. "I don't really know. I'm fine, Roy."

"Just think about it, okay?" He sighed, standing up from the bed. "But right now it's getting late. You should get some rest."

"Yeah... Probably."

"Take care of yourself, okay Walls?" Roy told him on the way out, looking over his shoulder. "We all care too much about you... And don't sweat the Rob thing too much."

"Thanks," Wally flopped backward on the bed as soon as the door was shut.  
Robin? Liked him? Thoughts swirled around in his brain, all too loud all at once.   
Robin liked him. Robin knew part of what had happened, which meant he had probably been talking about it around the team, which meant the team knew, even if he lied to Roy.

Robin liked him?

Roy now knew that he was living here, which would further Robin's suspicions...

No matter what Roy said, they would think he was weak. For five years now, he had superpowers. He could have stood up for himself.

But he didn't. He didn't.

Robin liked him?

Against all odds, thoughts still yelling in his head, Wally fell asleep.

***

Everything hurts.

***

When he woke up, Wally didn't dare open his eyes. He could feel someone on the bed next to him, weighing it down. The springs creaked. His heart jolted. He could feel his lower lip tremble.

That has to be part of the dream, it has to be-

He couldn't open his eyes. They were pressed shut, too afraid of what he could see, of who could be next to him.  
But no, he wasn't in any danger. HQ. He was in HQ, Wally tried to remind himself, to no avail. There was no way he could get here-

But what if he could? Wally had no idea how, or why his dad would be given access, but he couldn't open his eyes and someone was almost on top of him and-

It's just a dream. It's just a dream.

How many times have you told yourself that before? Wally thought to himself, breath catching in his throat. When it was all very, very real? When you would wake up in the morning and try to scrub yourself clean, but you could never quite feel whole again? Was it just a dream then? 

Someone was screaming, their voice high-pitched and raw like they had been screaming for-

"Wally, wake up!" A voice said from above him, immediately snapping up his attention.

Wally?

And that was too high pitched to-

Forcing his eyes open, Wally could clearly see Robin sitting next to him on the bed. His eyes were wide, brows drawn up together.

Ground yourself; he tried to think things through.

The bed beneath him was definitely the one at HQ, with it's slightly scratchy sheets and plush blanket. He was still wearing his binder from when he fell asleep, which is why is was still a little stiff to breathe-

Robin was on top of him.

Not really on top of him. Really, he was sitting beside him on the bed, leaning over him, shaking his shoulders.  
Oh, and he was the one screaming. 

Wally stopped, shutting his dry mouth, trying to swallow.

Inhale, Exhale.

"What is it?" He asked, blinking the sleep from his eyes. "Is everything-"

"Everything is okay, Wally. Everything's alright." He assured him softly, leaning back a bit. "You just... Seemed a little freaked out there. You okay?"

Play it off, make it normal.

"Yeah, I, uh... Get night terrors." Wally lied, his face turning red as he scooted himself up into a sitting position. "It's pretty normal."

"Wally, can you do me a favor?"  
"Anything for you, Rob." He smiled, managing to work a hand through his hair.

"Stop lying?"  
Wally held back the urge to say 'almost anything for you.' 

"It was just a nightmare, I'm fine, really."

"Okay." He sighed, pulling back a little bit again. "Are you okay?"

"I just said I'm fine." Wally smiled, ruffling his impossibly soft hair. "Someone's a little high-strung today, Robs."

"You and me both." Robin squeezed his eyes shut. "I don't know, it's just-"

"Roy explained to me last night."  
Robin turned bright red. "About what?"

"About-" He swallowed, remembering that wasn't the only thing Roy had told him. "About your theory as to why I've been acting a little... Off."

"Oh." Robin nodded. "And...?"  
"And I think you're looking for things that aren't quite there." Wally lied again, scratching the back of his neck. "Just getting a little tad bit paranoid, Mr. Detective."

He turned red, looking down at the covers. "I didn't mean for that to get to you before I had irrefutable proof either way."

"A little creepy, but... It's fine, Rob. That's just what you do, isn't it?."

"It's not fine. I... I never want anything bad to happen to you. And that means making sure you're safe."

If only he knew.

Wally grinned. "You know we're superheroes, right? Bad things pretty much happen to us all the time. Safety isn't exactly in our vocabularies."

"But that's different." Robin wrung his hands together. "It's different when it's personal."

"Well... Good thing you weren't right, right?" He smiled, a little lopsided, but still there. "Besides, I'm out of there, so... No family problems at all, let alone any big enough to be worth worrying over. No more homophobic household woes."

"That is good." Robin agreed. "But I'm sorry it had to be like this, for you. I know your family were never close, but..."

"Nah, I get it."

"Anyway..." He trailed off. "Should I go and, you know, let you get dressed?"

Wally was about to answer when he remembered exactly what Roy had said. That he would tell Rob if Wally wouldn't.

"Well... That wasn't the only thing Roy told me." He admitted. "He, uh... I think he might have just been teasing me, but..."

"What is it, Walls?" Robin smiled. "Couldn't be that bad, not after the conversation we just worked through."

Yes, it could. It could ruin their whole relationship in an instant if Roy was wrong, or if he had been lying to prank him. It wouldn't be the first time someone pranked him like that; at school it used to happen all the time.

But things were already changing: it was now or never. Like a bandaid, right?

"Well... He said you like me too?"

An awkward beat of silence.

"He said what?"

Wally blushed. "He said that you had a crush on me, too."

Immediately, Robin turned bright red. "He- he really- you didn't- he told you that?"  
Wally nodded, embarrassed. "I mean, he could have just been messing around, this is Roy talking, and he definitely could have just been messing around since, you know, you're definitely Robin, and I'm still Kid Flash, and you're Batman's sidekick - I still think he remembers me as the one who vomited on his shoes that one time, and the one who cried at that one Jutice League Holiday party - and he doesn't like me, so why would you, so-"

"Whoa, whoa, slow down Walls." Robin laughed. "I only caught about five words of that. You vomited on Batman?"

He winced. "You had to catch that part?"

That just made him laugh harder. "I love you, you idiot."

Wally blushed. Did that mean-

"And Roy wasn't just messing with you." Robin admitted in a soft voice. "I-"

"You actually like me." His eyes went wide. "You-"

Everything he said after that point was too fast to comprehend. Wally wasn't even really sure what he was saying, it was all just meaningless babble about Robin and how that couldn't possibly be true, but-

Robin laughed, resting a steady hand on his shoulder. "You okay there, Walls?"

"Yeah, I guess I'm, uh - You. Like me!?"

"Whoa, slow down again, Wally." He chuckled, face turning pink. "And... Yeah."

"Why?"

He rolled his eyes. "You can't just ask me why. Why not?"

"You... Don't want all the answers to that."

"Really?" Robin raised his eyebrows. "Cause I can tell you all of them right now. Lay them all out."

Wally's pulse skyrocketed. "R-really now?"

He shrugged. "Well, you see, there's only one."

"And what's that?" 

Which one was it? The lying tendencies? The hidden past of abuse? The whole trans thing? The fact he was, in all honesty, a little bit of a loser? The fact he had no eyebrows? That one seemed silly, but it was also pretty high on the list when he considered his ridiculously attractive Rob was.

"You puked on Batman's shoes, dude." Robin snickered, ruffling his hair. "Kinda gross."

Oh. It was just the puke on the shoes.

Wally chuckled awkwardly, trying to disguise his relief. "Hope that's not a deal-breaker."

"Of course not."

"So..."

"So...?"

"What now?"

Robin shrugged. "Breakfast, I'd expect... Still, I can't believe he actually told you."

"Wait." Wally frowned. "Should I be mad?"

"No. He told me a while ago that one of us would have to tell you, and... I guess this is it."

"A while ago? How long?"

Robin blushed. "At least a couple of months... Maybe more like a year."

"And you didn't tell me?"

"Well... No." He looked down at the floor. "But you were in the closet, and I didn't want to rush you."

"Yeah..." Wally smiled, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. "Everyone knew I wasn't straight, though."

"I mean, not really..." Robin trailed off. "Besides, you can't just know something like that about someone."

"I wasn't exactly subtle." He pointed out with a shrug. "I sound, let's just say, flamboyant. I'm kinda just bad at keeping secrets in general."

"No, you're not."

Wally's pulse, again, hit the roof; he laughed awkwardly. "What do you mean?"

"You kept it hidden that you actually liked me well enough until now, even if it was just with jokes." Robin said, counting on his hand. "You've never spoiled a surprise birthday party, you have a decent poker face, and, I mean... There are plenty of others I'm sure I don't even know yet."

Panic.

"Inside jokes, things like that." He added with a smile. "But, in the spirit of that... Think you can keep another secret?"

Wally blinked. "What does that mean? What kind of secret?"

"It means that..." Robin reached up, peeling up the corner of his domino mask. "My name it actually Dick Grayson."

Dick Grayson. The name was unfamiliar, but at the same time, it fit; and not just because his name was Dick.

And the mask was off.

The first thing that hit him was how blue his eyes were. All this time Wally had imagined them as a deep, warm brown to go along with his tan skin and dark hair, but somehow, as striking as they were, they were just right. The color was a dark blue, rich and beautiful as the sea. His lashes were dark, thick and curly, just adding to the pretty charm of his face.

"You're-" He gasped. "Secret identity, though! Won't Batman be mad?"

"Let him be mad." Robin - Dick - shrugged. "I'm sixteen. Let me tell my friends who I really am."

Ouch. That cut deep. He knew it wasn't meant to, but...

"Now come on, let's go get breakfast."

Dick grabbed his hand, leading him on forward to the kitchen. And Wally, strangely enough, didn't feel hungry at all. His mind was moving about a million miles an hour, connecting things that maybe didn't fit together as well as they seemed to.

Namely: it was strange going from eating nearly nothing, trying to avoid being a burden, trying to be unobtrusive, to eating all he wanted. That was how it felt moving in to HQ, because suddenly the fridge was open to him all the time. There was nowhere else he would eat, nowhere else he would be shamed about how much food he needed to keep going.

At first, joining the team, he had hidden how much he ate, as if any of his friends would be fooled. It was just such a guilt-ridden thing, to eat, to enjoy food, to cost money... Wally knew he would need to work on that, big time. But right now, he didn't have the energy, and eating was mostly done in super speed.

Then, when it was clear that wasn't cutting it, he decided to try to portion. Maybe, if he could just eat an actually decent amount, he wouldn't feel so guilty all the time...

But slowly, over the weeks he had been staying at HQ so far, Wally had finally gotten mostly used to just... Eating.

Maybe that would be how things with Rob- Dick. How things with Dick would work.

Because right now...

Well, no. Hiding was when he just had a crush. And right now? Wally couldn't help the feeling that he didn't deserve him. Guilt was a sticky feeling in his chest as Robin held his hand on their way to the kitchen.

"Wait, wait, wait." Wally stopped. "Are we actually together, or like, just trying it out, or, like... What are we doing here, because I've never really dated before, and I don't-"

Dick shrugged. "Do we need to put a specific label on it?"

"...I guess not? I mean, if you don't want to, that'd be cool."

"Can I call you my boyfriend?"

And just like that he was a sputtering, red, flustered mess. "Y-yeah. Yeah. Yes. You may. Uh huh. Groovy."

"Groovy?"

Laughing, Dick leaned up to kiss his cheek, then he kept pulling him forward. Still hand in hand, they rounded the corner into the kitchen. His stomach was doing flips.

"Good morning, bitches!" Dick announced, letting of his hand to pour some cereal. "And guess what, Roy?"

"What? Wait, your face is out!"

Wally held back laugher as he immediately moved to cover it, then seemingly remembered that it was a choice. "Yep. I'm Dick, nice to meet you."

"Suffering Sappho." Donna choked. "Did you just say your name is Dick?"

"Dick Grayson." He winked. "And have you met my boyfriend, Wally West?"

Boyfriend. He could feel his whole face light up, turning bright red. The guilt didn't really leave, but this? This was good. Boyfriend.

He was his boyfriend.

He wanted him.

"For now. And so what? You're a couple of fags now?" His dad's voice still taunted, never quite gone.

As long as he kept his eyes off Rob's body, he was fine. The thoughts were just too bad that way... Maybe that was the equivalent of portion control. Wally snorted at the thought.

"So, one of you dumb fucks finally made a move, huh?" Roy was grinning from ear to ear, glancing back and forth between the two of them. "All it took was me telling him... And some screaming."

"Hey, I have night terrors; I wasn't just screaming."

"Oh, oh, sorry." He just smiled wider. "It just took Robbie being a total mother hen and freaking out."

"He was screaming." Dick pointed out. "Actively screaming. I did the responsible thing by making sure he was okay."

"Sure... And the emotionally convenient one, considering your massive crush."

"Alright, Roy, shut the fuck up." Wally lightly smacked his arm. "Finish your toast."

"Not even a thank you?"

"Thank you. Now please?" 

"Right, I'll leave you two lovebirds-"

Wally turned bright red. No, this was going to be hard... Or maybe he would just learn how to live life constantly flustered.

And maybe he would eventually get over all this guilt.

"You feel guilty because it's wrong." His mom's voice chided. "The truth will set you free."

"Shut up, Roy."

***

The 'night terrors' weren't getting better; if anything they were getting worse.

***

The next two weeks passed in a blur, and Wally was happy to admit it. For once it really seemed like things were going right: the team was getting along just fine, no one was having personal problems, and Dick was his boyfriend.

Dick was his boyfriend! It was still odd getting used to calling him Dick, but they would get there. Eventually he would stop accidentally calling him Robin... But with his luck, he'd end up calling him Dick when he was out in patrol, then they'd have the opposite problem.

But if his biggest problem was calling his boyfriend the wrong one of his names occasionally, they would be fine.

"Hey, Wally, stop daydreaming and pass me the butter." Roy reached over, poking him with the dull tip of the butter knife.

"Ope, sorry." 

"What, getting too lost in thought about Dickie?" He snickered. "You two are ridiculous."

Roy, of course, was having no troubles with the name. None of the other Titans seemed to... Or maybe they were just smarter than him.

But he still had blackmail material. "Not as ridiculous as when you had a crush on Donna."

He turned beet red. "Are we seriously just bringing this up all the time now?"

"Who had a crush on me?" Donna yawned. "Oh wait. Just Roy."

"Hoping it'd be a cute girl?" Roy asked. "Or maybe Cheetah?"

Her nose wrinkled, but she still blushed bright red. "She's a lot older than me, you know... And I don't have a crush on her."

"Yeah." Wally agreed. "You just think she's hot."

Donna raised an eyebrow. "Who doesn't?"

Roy and Wally both reluctantly nodded. "Fair."

"Also," Roy started spreading butter on his toast. "Sounds an awful lot like you're changing the topic, Walls."

"Ooh, changing it from what?" Donna asked, wandering over to the fridge. "Let me guess, Dick?"

"Well..."

"Yeah." Roy snorted. "What else, these days?"

"Speaking of Dickie, where is he?"

"He had some fancy charity breakfast event or something." Wally answered, mouth full of toast. "He'll get here around eleven-ish, I think... And where's Garth?"

"Spending the day with Kaldur and Tula." Donna answered, face still in the refrigerator. "He said that it's Atlantean Valentine's Day, but knowing him, he's probably just messing with us."

"True." Wally nodded, taking another bite of toast. "Oh, wait..."

He pulled out his phone, opening up to Dick's number. Which, of course, had to be separate from Robin's number, because he was actually good at having a secret identity.

(Wally): guess what today is ;)

(Dick): What?

(Wally): Atlantean Valentine's Day!

(Dick): Who told you that?

(Wally): Donna but Garth told her

(Dick): ...are you sure about that?

(Wally): no... But we could still do something?

(Dick): What do you have in mind, KF?

(Wally): uh

(Wally): I didn't get that far

(Dick): How does ice cream sound, then?

(Wally): ooh yeah

(Dick): Sound good?  
(Wally): that sounds awesome

(Wally): also like the most romantic thing we've done so far

(Dick): We've only been dating for two weeks, and also, I'm pretty sure neither of us are very romantic people

(Wally): I'm so romantic!

(Dick): Really?

(Dick): What's your idea of romance then, Walls?

(Wally): I just like romantic movies  
(Wally): umm... Making someone dinner?

(Dick): The fastest way to your heart is through food, got it

(Wally): Not true!  
(Dick): We both know it, don't deny anything  
(Wally): okay maybe yeah  
(Wally): you have called me out

(Dick): Ugh, this gala is so boring

He sent a picture. In it was the vast interior of a huge room, with a high ceiling, beautiful chandelier, and expensive looking furniture. Tables were set up over the area of the floor, all with excellently dressed people sitting at them, casually chatting while they filled up on fancy foods. 

Of course, because Dick had to end up being a billionaire's son.

In the corner of the frame was Dick, his hair slicked down so it was no longer wild and curly, his mouth curved into an over-exaggerated frown.

(Wally): its beautiful there at least

(Dick): This is the main foyer to Wayne Manor

(Dick): I live here  
(Wally): then can't you go upstairs and his or something until company leaves?

(Dick): Bruce wants me to socialize at least a little bit, he thinks it's good for public image that I'm seen once in a while  
(Wally): ahh so it's not like he's hiding an orphan or five in his huge house?

(Dick): Yeah, pretty much like that

(Wally): Bruce Wayne doesn't seem like that type, but you never know...

(Dick): Yeah, I mean, no one knows how many there were before me...  
(Wally): wait are you serious

(Wally): bc I was joking

(Dick): No!

(Dick): I'm the only one

(Wally): are you sure? Sounds like you let a little something slip there

(Dick): I am the only one

(Wally): ...that you know of

(Dick): That's seriously creepy

(Wally): yeah it is now that I think about it  
(Wally): but the manor is a really big house, right?

(Dick): You definitely just made me laugh out loud, asshole  
(Dick): It is a very, very big house, and that is an understatement 

(Wally): got it! Lots of room to hide orphans

(Dick): Who could be next?

(Wally): ugh it's boring here when are you done...

(Dick): Like, eleven? I thought I told you that

(Wally): that's so late for a breakfast though wtf...  
(Dick): I know, right?

(Dick): Sgit Bruce saw me texting

(Dick): bye  
(Wally): bye!  
He slid his phone back into his pocket. "Well, yeah, Dick confirmed he should be here around eleven. Do we know about when Garth'll show?"  
"I think he's taking the day off, unless we need him." Donna shrugged, stabbing her fork into her toaster waffle. "Which, I mean... Technically we don't have to show up here every day unless we have actual things we need to do."

"But who actually has other summer plans?" Roy laughed. "Not us, we don't have friends."

"Other than each other." She corrected.  
He rolled his eyes. "Well, yeah, that goes without saying. I don't, though. You don't really, other than other Amazons, who are pretty far away. And Wally sure as hell doesn't-"

"Yes I do!" 

"Who?"  
Wally swallowed his toast. "Uhh, my aunt and uncle?"

"That's... Kinda sad. Just a little."

"Okay, now that I said it, I realize it did sound sad." He agreed. "So... What do we do while we wait?"

"Well, Donna needs to write the report." Roy pointed out. "But other than that, I don't think anything needs to be done."  
"Is it really my turn?" She groaned. "I don't think so."

"Uh, yeah it is." He shrugged. "And Wally, you should probably do a perimeter check."  
"Kay, can do."

Donna shook her head. "I'm serious, I really don't think-"

Wally zipped off to go check the perimeter, his head back in the clouds. Every time he talked to Dick it was like... If was like everything was perfect. Nothing could drag him down. Not the others teasing him about how sickeningly sweet they were, not the nightmares that were still plaguing him - if Dick was there, it was all good. It was the same feeling he got at pride: lighter than air.

They had taken to holding hands as they did things, delighted to find their fingers laced perfectly together. It was unlikely, but perfect, and they were going to take complete advantage of it. Dick's hands were so small, but so calloused...  
He was just perfect, everywhere.

Wally knew what his dad would say to that, what he would say to Dick's body, but he didn't care. He just kept his mind clear and ignored it.

He had gotten out of that house. It was behind him now. There was no reason to still waste time being held back by what happened there.

Still, it worried him sometimes that Dick would find something out...  
But it was fine. Neither Roy nor Dick had been overly suspicious recently, which was also a good sign. They trusted him when he said it was all good.

"Perimeter has been thoroughly checked!" Wally declared, skidding back into the kitchen.

"It really isn't my turn, is it?" Donna asked Roy, eyes narrowed. "It's your turn, and you're being an ass."

"I'm always an ass, but that doesn't change the fact it's your turn." Roy argued. "Wally, whose turn is it?"

He shrugged. "I don't remember."

"No, it was my turn last week, because I distinctly remember having to write about that gash Garth got on his knee." She reminded them. "So, Roy, your turn."

"No, you just talked about that, and Rob did it because he owed you from Mario Party."

"I didn't beat Rob in Mario Party!" Donna exclaimed, slapping her hand on the table. "It's your turn, and you're lying."

Roy was turning red. "No..."

"Do I need to lasso you?"

Wally rolled his eyes, walking over to the living room and flopping down on the couch.

(Wally): what happened? Did you get caught?

(Dick): Nag, he just glared at me  
(Wally): Nag  
(Dick): *Nah

(Dick): Since apparently I can't say anything without getting teased around here  
(Wally): Nag, I don't know what you're talking about

(Dick): You're the worst

(Dick): I wish you were here though, Babs is the only person around my age, and she's currently deep in conversation about the failings of the American Public Education System

(Wally): yikes

(Wally): do you actually need me to save you???

(Dick): I mean...

(Dick): You certainly could, if we don't get caught

(Wally): alright are their alarms?

(Dick): *there, you animal

(Wally): sorry, I was a little more focused on my boyfriend currently facing imminent death by boredom than which there to use

(Wally): my bad

(Dick): Shut up and save me then

(Dick): There are alarms, but most of them have been disabled since there are people wandering the grounds, playing croquet and shit. I'll be on the southeast side of the house, standing by some trees

(Wally): what are you wearing?

(Dick): Hardly an appropriate question to ask

He blushed.

(Wally): not like that you perv

(Dick): And I'm the only one over here, so you shouldn't have to look too hard. White button down, dark blue slacks.

(Wally): k be there in a flash

Peeling himself off the couch, and shoving his phone into his pocket, Wally dashed into the kitchen first.

Roy was rolling his eyes. "I never actually said it wasn't my turn-"

He interrupted their feud. "Hey, I'm going to go get Dick, we'll be out for a bit maybe?"

"Ooh, going on a date?" Donna raised her eyebrows. "Have fun, sweetheart."

"Use protection." Roy added.

Wally could feel himself turning scarlet. Donna elbowed him.

Why did everything have to be about sex?

"We, uh, we're just getting ice cream, Roy."

She elbowed him again. "Yeah, Roy, don't be gross."

He elbowed her back. "I'm not being gross, I'm being responsible."

Donna rolled her eyes. "You know what, do you want to just go spar?"

"Sounds great."

Wally shook his head back to reality. "Kay, I'll be back hopefully with Dick!"

"Bye, Walls!"

And with that, he rushed out of HQ and onto the streets. The route to Gotham, and Wayne Manor, for that matter, was familiar by now. Two weeks of running back and forth between two points will do that to you, he supposed.

And he really had been going there a lot lately. 

Never inside, though. With Dick it was always the same element of danger: sneaking out of windows, meeting him by the trees in the back, and slipping out the door late at night. He could never make something like this between them normal.

And Wally liked that. He also liked that it meant Batman didn't know that he was dating his sidekick. Not that he was afraid of him. Definitely not at all...

Ugh, but did Roy always have to make everything about sex? It was just his humor, really, but it had never annoyed Wally until now. There was just something different about it being directed at him. It was uncomfortable thinking about sex, even. Hearing the offhand jokes and comments Roy made that assumed he was cis were... Interesting, to say the least. He didn't mind that aspect of it, but it did make the closet a more apparent place than ever.

What bothered him most of all, though, was the fact that Dick laughed along with them, or made them back. Just now, even... They had always teased each other like that, so it was normal, but now that they were dating...

Did Dick want to have sex with him?

That was certainly a question, and one for another time because he was fast approaching Wayne Manor. The trees around here were all technically native, but the even and decorative spacing made it easy to run through. Nothing was natural about this place. He hated it.

But there he was, by the edge of the lawn, trying to pretend he wasn't doing anything suspicious. His hands were casually resting in his pockets, looking up at the huge manor.

"Hello, Mr. Grayson?" Wally grinned, coming to a stop up next to him. "Your ride is here."

Dick laughed, pushing him lightly. "You're such a dork."

He snickered. "Ew, you like a dork?"

"I guess so. Come on, I know a really good place for ice cream in Gotham."

"Well, you'll have to tell me where it is, first." Wally pointed out. "I really am your ride."

"Okay, it's on the corner of Bradley and fifth, on the side with the-"

Before he could finish, he picked him up, rushing down the Gotham streets. Fifth, fifth, fifth... No, that was Bradley there, which would mean he was close, and... There's fifth.

Wally screeched to a halt at the corner with the giant ice cream cone sign, setting him down. "I'm guessing it's this one?"

"-giant ice cream cone." Dick finished. "Yep, this is the one."

"It looks kinda..."

"Like everything else in Gotham?" He guessed. "Dilapidated?"

"Yeah, pretty much... But I'm guessing the ice cream is good?"

"Ohh yeah." Dick nodded, starting toward the door. "It's an old family run place; their recipes are basically a family secret."

"Sounds delicious - why aren't we inside?"

He laughed. "Come on, you big goof, let's get some ice cream."

Wally followed in, quickly scoping out the shop. It was cute, if worn, with vinyl seats torn around the edges and pastel walls that were probably a lot brighter about forty years ago. But the ice cream in the display case...

He reached down and grabbed Dick's hand. "What's the best flavor?"

"All of them." Dick answered, unhelpful. "I usually get the tropical storm - it's coconut, pineapple, and mango."

"That sounds literally amazing..." Wally wet his lips. "If you get that, and I get something else, could we share?"

He nudged him. "As long as you don't eat it all."

"I wouldn't!" 

Dick gave him a knowing look.

He hated that.

"Sure. If you're going to get something different, you should go for something really different, you know?"

Wally nodded. "Like triple chocolate brownie batter?"

Dick grinned. "Exactly like that."

They got their ice cream cones, stepping outside to, as Dick explained, go sit on a stoop somewhere. 

"Gothamites rarely actually sit in a place like that; that's how you spot tourists." Dick explained, finding a set of stairs he liked and plopping himself down. "This is how we do it."

"Weird." Wally sat down after him, just about as close as possible. "Happy Atlantean Valentine's Day, babes."

He laughed, choking on his ice cream. "I forgot about that."

"You forgot about Atlantean Valentines Day?" Wally feigned shock and offense. "What kind of boyfriend are you?"

"I don't know, what kind of a boyfriend am I, Walls?"

He blushed. Dick looked so cute like this, even if he was in prep clothes. His hair had started to stick up from the super speed winds and Gotham humidity, curling and fluffing like it always did. It was strange seeing his eyes, how his eyelashes fluttered when his blinked, but Wally couldn't imagine going back. The devious little smile on his full lips...

"A cute one." He finally answered, taking a lick of his ice cream. "This is really good."

"Of course it is." Dick agreed, taking a lick of Wally's. "I suggested it."

"Wow, I didn't realize your ego just needed a little stoking for you to actually become Roy." Wally teased, elbowing him a little.

He laughed. "You take that back, bastard."

"Nope. Turns out, this just in! Dick Grayson is an egomaniac!"

Dick just laughed harder, head tipped back, eyes all squinted shut. He was so cute and beautiful and-

"Gorgeous little thing." His dad's voice practically growled, as if he was a piece of prey. "A real pretty picture."

Wally laughed along with him, trying to ignore that, the pounding of his heart. "Wow, Dick Grayson? What an asshole."

"Wow, you're dating an asshole?" Dick teased, smirking.

"Hey, that's my line!"

"Yeah, and what are you gonna do about it?" He waggled his eyebrows, looking smug.

Taking a deep breath for courage, Wally leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. Immediately, the smug look was gone, replaced by a blushing mess.

He was even cute like that.

"Nope! False alarm!" Wally declared, laughing. "He's not an asshole after all: just another dork!"

Dick snorted. "Okay, okay... Let's switch ice cream cones. I could use some triple chocolate brownie batter about now."

They switched, and-

"Wait, Dick, stick out your tongue."

He did, revealing a bright orange streak from the ice cream.

"Dude, you're orange."

Dick raised an eyebrow. "And? You're about to be too."

"Fair... We'll both be orange."

"And?"

Wally shrugged. "I don't know, it's just funny."

"What? Are you just now thinking about the fact sharing ice cream is like indirect kissing?" Dick pointed out. "Cause it kinda is."

"No it's not, we've been doing it for years!"

He raised an eyebrow. "Wow, we've been indirectly kissing for years, and it took this long for both of us to admit?"

Wally turned bright red. "I mean... How long did you like me?"

"Nuh uh, you first."

"Well..." He trailed off. "It maybe might have been since we were thirteen? And we had the game of truth or dare?"

Dick turned bright red. "The one where Roy dared me to make out with a teddy bear?"

"Uh, kinda, yeah? That might have just been the realization point though, because before that I just thought I really really liked you as a friend. Like, a lot."

He laughed. "You're kinda hopeless, aren't you?"

"...maybe... But how long were you crushing is the real question."

Dick turned even redder. "It might have been since we first met."

"What! No way." Wally shook his head, taking another slurp of the bright orange ice cream. "Be serious."

"I was." He admitted, staring at his feet. "I thought you were cute when we first met. I also thought you were a girl, though, for a moment or two."

That was awkward. "Weird..."

"But I thought you were cute, and funny, and nice, which is pretty rare for guys who are cute and funny... I guess I've just been hopeless ever since."

"Wait, wait." Wally blinked. "You're telling me you liked me for two whole years longer than I liked you, and yet I'm the one who got teased by the team for having a crush?"

"I'm less obvious." Dick explained, mouth full of ice cream. "With you I was only confused 'cause I wondered if it was a joke or not. That was how you kept the secret."

"I'd never joke about something like that." 

"All the 'bromance' jokes?"

"...okay, I'd joke about something like that to try to shift attention off of myself."

"That's the weird thing." Dick leaned forward, turning to fully face Wally. "I'm about to psychoanalyze you, by the way."

"What else would I expect?"

"Exactly." He continued. "You dress so bright, and you're loud, and you're funny, but the moment attention is on you..."

"I shrink?" Wally guessed. "Yeah, it's the whole 'bullied' thing."

Dick started to say something, then let it go. "That... Does make sense, now that I think about it."

"I don't want to sob story, but being the only gay kid at any of my schools growing up? Sucked. Especially since I'm, so..." He waved his free hand, trying to think of the word.

Bright? Loud? Effeminate sounding? Masculine for a girl, feminine for a guy?

"So fucked up." His dad would say. 

"Flamboyant?" Dick guessed. "Really obviously gay?"

"Uh, yeah, probably." Wally shrugged. "But hey, things aren't so bad now... Especially in the summer."

"And you'll probably be switching schools, right?"

He blinked. "Why?"

Dick raised an eyebrow. "Because you're going to be living with your uncle during the year?"

"How did you - never mind." Wally nodded. "Yeah... I guess I didn't think about that."

"And Central is a whole lot bigger than Blue Hills, Nebraska. A lot more liberal, too."

He snorted. "You bet it is... Think it'll be any different?"

"Ohh yeah." Dick nodded. "Fewer people give a shit in big cities. Things'll suck, but it'll probably be fine."

"I mean, how is it in Gotham?"

He shrugged. "Better other places. Being the ward of Bruce Wayne means that I attend the prestigious Gotham Academy, though, as it's a shithole."

"How so?" Wally took a lick of his ice cream, desperately trying to keep it from dripping on his hand.

"Well, imagine a school of all entirely rich kids, in school uniforms, and most of them are white." Dick started, explaining in between licks of ice cream. "I'm an openly bi 'ambiguously brown' kid who wasn't raised in manners school. I don't exactly fit."

"That sucks."

He shrugged. "Well, I mean... It just makes two of us who are a bit out of place."

Wally chuckled. "Yeah, I guess."

Dick raised his ice cream, as if to make a toast. "To not fitting in?"

"How cliche teen 'coming of age' movie can you get?" 

He rolled his eyes. "Are you going to toast me or what?"

Laughing, they clicked their ice cream cones together, then kept eating them quickly so they wouldn't melt... And when they got back to HQ, both of their tongues were bright orange from more than indirect kissing.

***

Wally would have killed someone for a good nights sleep about now.

If it wasn't night terrors and nightmares that woke him up screaming, it was lying in bed awake for hours, doing nothing but thinking.

Today has been a good day! So why was his mind so active? He and Dick had hung out, gotten ice cream, then gone back to HQ. They had to go apprehend The Quilter, but that was a quick mission, and when they got back they still had time for Mario Kart.

Which meant he now owed Dick an unspecified favor.

Maybe that's what was freaking him out.

They ended up fully making out on the stoop, Dick ending up in his lap, both of their mouths sticky and tasting like ice cream. He was so warm under Wally's fingers, his skin hot against his own wherever they touched. 

Obviously, they weren't going any farther than that in such a public place. That would just be gross... Even if most Gotham residents would just consider something like that normal. It was a disgusting city; he hated it there.

But what would have happened if they went back to HQ? If they had been in Wally's room, or Dick's room, would Dick have wanted to stop, or would he have wanted to keep going? Did he want more?

Looking down at his body, lying on top of the covers since it was far too hot to sleep under them, he hoped not. His body wasn't unattractive, but... It wasn't what Dick was expecting. He was expecting a flat chest, and different stuff down there. And if he found out...

Dick wouldn't be mad. He was better than that.

But Wally didn't want to disappoint him. 

Besides, even if he told Dick he was trans, finally just owned up to it, would they be able to have sex? Wally knew how everyone else talked about it, but that didn't change the fact he was still terrified. It was scary. It hurt. Maybe it was better with someone you wanted to do it with, but what if it wasn't?

What if having sex with Dick triggered a panic attack?

What if Dick was into the fact that he had a 'woman body'?

What if Dick was just disappointed?

But at the same time, what if Dick wanted it, and Wally was always just too afraid to do anything with him? Sure, he could say that he wanted to take it slow, or that he wasn't ready, but...

He was a sixteen year old boy. Didn't all of them want to have sex with everything alive?

"You want it, don't you?" He growled into his ear.

That thought brought bile to the back of Wally's throat, his stomach turning. This was a problem for later, sure, but how long would he be able to put it off?

Finally, he drifted off to sleep, but it was anything but restful.

***

In his dreams everything hurt, but this time he didn't scream. He couldn't open his mouth.

***

"Hey, Wally, are you doing okay?" Dick paused eating to ask, leaning across the table.

Wally slurped up the last of the noodle in his mouth. "Yeah, why?"

"You just seem... tense lately."

He shrugged. "Can't think of any reason why."

"It's just like..." Dick frowned, brows furrowing together. "Every time we kiss, you flinch. I used to think you were just nervous about it, but it's actually starting to freak me out."

"Dunno. Guess I'm just jumpy." Wally answered offhand, shoveling more noodles into his mouth.

"You're always jumpy." He pointed out. "Just not usually this much. If you're uncomfortable with PDA, I'll-"

"What? No. I'm perfectly fine with PDA."

Dick raised an eyebrow. "Is it just kissing that freaks you out, because it basically seems to be every time I touch you at all."

"Nah," Wally scoffed. "Touch me right now."

Reaching across the table, he touched his arm.

"See? No flinch."

Dick frowned. "But if I'm like this-"

He leaned in, across the table, and put his hand gently on one side of Wally's head. 

No flinching. No flinching.

But he was closer now, wetting his lips just a little bit, his eyes falling shut...

No flinching.

But that moment their lips touched, everything changed. Their kiss was slow and gentle, Dick's chin was soft and hairless, he was in control here... Except everything seemed to shift and distort whether his eyes were open or not. Images of his dad flashed across his brain. Stubbly chin. A kiss that was more devouring than loving, eating him and tearing him apart.

"Maybe that'll fix you, you-"

Wally flinched, squeezing his eyes shut, tending his shoulders.

"Like that." Dick pulled back, sitting down in his chair. "What is it? What's going on?"

"N-nothing." He swallowed. "I'm fine."

"Flinching and stuttering doesn't sound or look like fine. What is it, Walls?"

"I'm just..." Wally's eyes darted around the room. "I'm just used to the closet. It's weird being so free."

Dick raised an eyebrow. "It's been three weeks, Wally. And this only started happening about a week ago. Did something happen?"

"Nope."

"Okay. Well, then, until we figure this out, I'm not kissing you. I don't want to hurt you, Wally."

"You're not hurting me." Wally lied. "And besides, you're my boyfriend. I want to kiss you and stuff."

That part wasn't a lie. He wanted to. 

"It's clearly scaring you whenever we do, though." Dick pointed out. "So, I mean, what can we do about that?"

"Ignore it?"

"I'm not ignoring it, Wally!" He scowled, jaw clenched tightly. "I was ignoring it when it started a week ago and... It was after we made out, wasn't it?"

Wally could feel his heartbeat racing. "Why would it-"

"Wally, does it have to do with sex?"

He blanched, voice going high. "No, why would it?"

"Because we're sixteen and that's all everyone thinks about these days." Dick pointed out. "Look, if you're not ready, you're not ready. I don't hold that against you."

He wants to, Wally thought to himself. He wants to go further than just the two of us making out on the HQ couch, but I'm not ready. I'm just slowing him down, aren't I?

Dick is already annoyed with me.

"Y-yeah." Wally swallowed. "I'm just not ready, and it seems like you are..."

"Wally, I'll be ready whenever you are. Don't worry about it."

Slowing him down.

"Even if that's never." He added.

But does he really mean that,  
Or does it just sound good?

"Okay." Wally smiled. "Now, I'm still starving, and this ramen isn't getting any warmer."

Dick laughed, but he couldn't help but notice it sounded forced.

***

Dick was investigating him. Wally knew it, he knew it with every fiber of his being. After he confronted him over lunch a couple days ago, he had been studying him, watching him. It was the same telltale signs, but this time turned on him which was, well...

Terrifying.  
First, he was spacey. Dick wasn't usually spacey at all, really; he was always trying to live in the moment. So when he got absorbed enough in his work that he wasn't paying attention to anything else, including his own needs? You know it was something important to him.

Sometimes that happened with just really important cases, though...  
And second, he was always on his computer, or on his phone, or something else electronic. Constantly. It wasn't a problem, but it was far more often and defiantly more suspicious. 

Still could apply to a case.  
Third, but more like second point five, which mostly proved it, was the fact he always hid what he was doing when Wally walked into the room. Not the other Titans, but specifically Wally. Which made it apparent that he wasn't just engrossed in a case; no, he was searching to find the confirmation to his suspicions.

Except he wouldn't find any. With Garth, when he was in a depressive cycle, the research had mostly turned up dry - pun intended - but he quickly turned to chatting with Garth's family and friends. That was how he found out he was severely depressed, so they could help him out. 

But that wasn't possible in Wally's case. He didn't have friends besides the team, and his family wasn't fessing up to anything anytime soon.

In Roy's case he had tracked down Star City drug dealers, figuring out who had sold him stuff, what they sold him, and at what frequency. Sometimes they bought drugs for cases, but his buys lined up in a different way: he was actually using the product. So Dick had been able to get him there, and work with him. He didn't know how he figured that out, but he did.

But Wally? He hadn't done anything illegal. No crime had been reported, and there were no witnesses. He just ran away; nothing wrong with that. And his parents weren't even searching for him, so... There was also that.  
Wally's problems were his own, and no one else's. The only two people who knew about them were his parents.  
Whew. What a relief.

...except Dick could most certainly find his birth records. That he's trans. 

Shit.

But he would have found that out eventually, right? Wally couldn't have gone forever without telling him. They would want to cuddle before bed and he'd need to take off his binder, or he would see his packer, or...

Or they would decide to have sex.  
It scared Wally, not just because it was sex, but also because he wanted it. He really did. And if he wanted it...  
Had he wanted it this whole time? Was he just that fucked up at this point?  
Wally shook his head. He didn't. He couldn't have. It was painful and awful and terrifying.

Then why, then, did he want to do it with Dick?

That didn't matter right now, though. What mattered was that Dick was investigating him, and...

And he was safe. All of the information as hidden. There was no way he could figure things out.

Unless he took his theory from before and added it to Wally's apparent fear of intimacy... But why was that popping up now? For two weeks he had been totally fine, and just now it was starting to get in the way of their relationship.

Everything was going good. Why did he have to fuck it up now?  
Because now it was them in a tense relationship, going on their little dates as always but always with an edge to them. And when they were done, parting ways, Wally laid awake at night, squeezing his eyes shut, trying to forget everything going through his head.

And Dick was on his computer, hacking away, figuring out all the things Wally wouldn't tell him.

***

They lasted another three days before it all went to shit.

"This doesn't make sense!" Dick exclaimed, his eyes wide, lower jaw quivering. "None of this information fits, Wally."

"It fits just fine." Wally said quickly, shaking his head. "I'm good, Dick. You're just-"

"Don't say that I'm just paranoid!" He snapped. "It's not just paranoia. Everything you've done, all of your actions, everything you've said; it all points to one specific scenario, and-"  
"You're reading too far into it! Everything's good."

"I'm not, and it's not."

"I'm the one we're talking about!" Wally reminded, gaining volume. "And I can tell you: nothing is going on."  
"I can't believe that in good faith."

"Why not?" Wally scowled. "Why don't you trust me?"

He knew that was a low blow, but it was the one he had to take. It hurt, but it was safe.

Dick sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I do trust you, Wally. I'm just..."

"But do you? Because it sounds like you don't."  
He shook his head. "Wally, I..."

"What is it, Dick?" Wally swallowed, squeezing his eyes shut. "Why are you so convinced that something is wrong?"

Because something is.  
"Because you've been acting so... So..."  
"So what?"

"You've been acting sick and traumatized! The screaming, the paranoia, the altered eating patterns, the fear of intimacy-"

"What are you trying to say?" Wally asked, eyes wide, heart pounding. "I'm. Fine. I just got kicked out of my house, I have normal night terrors, and I'm not quite ready. That's normal."

Dick shook his head. "I'm a better detective than that; I know you're lying."

"Liar." His dad snarled.

"Well, you got this one wrong, Mr. Detective!" Wally yelled, fists shaking by his sides. "You're not always right, apparently! Isn't that amazing?"  
Dick blinked, taking a step back. "What...?"  
"I'm just..." His face felt hot, his blood rushing in his ears. "I'm sick and tired of you thinking that you're always right all the time, even when it happens to be about someone else! Other people know themselves better than you know them, okay?"

"Are you angry at me?"  
"No... Yes?" Wally shook his head. "I don't know. This isn't working out."

Dick's eyes went wide, jaw dropping. "What do you..."

This was going to kill him, but it was for the best. Dick couldn't know. He couldn't get close enough to figure shit out.

"I mean relationships are built on trust." Wally swallowed, tears coming to his eyes. "And you don't trust me."

"I do, Wall-"

He shook his head. "I do like you a lot."

"Then let's work this out." Dick insisted. "All you have to do is tell me - no, just tell someone. Because I know you, and I know you're keeping all of this bottled up because you don't want to be a burden. Tell your Aunt I - anyone."

"I'm fine, Dick." Wally stated again, wiping his eyes. "Alright? Let's just... I need go out, for a bit. Friends still, right?"

"Wally!" He called after him, but Wally was already gone, running so fast the tears couldn't even fall.

***

When he yelled, Dick looked afraid. He really was just like his dad.

***

"Wow, actual Titans business?" Garth peeled himself up off the couch, joining the rest of them at the computer. "Since when do we do that?"

Dick rolled his eyes. "Since forever, now let's focus, alright?"

"Right." They all echoed, Wally's voice falling a little behind.

"So what is it?" Roy asked.

Dick pulled up several photos on the screen. "This unidentified object landed in a farmers field in Iowa last night. No one has been sent to investigate it yet, and the League is busy. So..."

"Studying an alien... Ship? It almost looks like it could be a ship." Garth pointed out. "It's a little small, though, if that's an average sized human person."

Donna shrugged. "There are lots of small aliens. I'm sure this'll be fine."

"Small aliens can still be dangerous... Or nasty..." Roy reminded. "Remember that one time?"

She winced. "I think we all do; no repeats of that."

"It almost looks like it's just a probe." Dick pointed out, shifting around the image. "You can almost see in there, and it doesn't appear to have an inner chamber."

Wally swallowed. "Probe is bad."

"We don't necessarily know that," Donna said. "Besides, do we have any other information?"

"It's green?" Roy offered.

Garth elbowed him.

"Other than that? Nope."

"Than let's get going, shall we?"

"Donna's right." Dick agreed, sticking his domino mask back on. "We have no idea what's down there. Roy, Garth, I'm gonna need you both as cover. Donna, with me. Wally... Don't touch anything."

He nodded, not quite meeting his eyes. "You got it."

"Now, let's go figure this shit out."

***

When they arrived in the field, the rain was just letting off, wind blowing softly. People weren't milling around it anymore; in fact, a caution taper perimeter was the only thing showing people had found it at all. Other than that, there wasn't a man-made thing in sight, just acres of farmland.

"Alright, positions." Robin sent them off, activating the comm system. "I need to get a closer look."

"Let's go."

Wally scooped up Roy, took him to his spot, then ran back to do the same with Garth. Then... Perimeter check? Technically, he just wasn't supposed to touch it. Unofficially, as always, when all else failed with unidentified alien objects, he was their science guy.  
So running in circles waiting for more information it was. But that allowed for too much thinking time, which meant-

The comm's crackled on, Donna's voice loud and clear. "Hey, KF, come check this out."

Perfect distraction... Except being close to Dick. That wasn't so perfect.

"Wow, that was fast." He slid up to where they were crouched down by the pod, skidding to a halt. "Figured anything out so far?"

"Nope, not really." Donna started to explain. "This little inscription is the only thing we've really noticed, the rest is just..."

"Smooth, and... Is that transparent?" Wally blinked. "Weird..."

"Basically, we have no clue what this is."

Wally didn't either. In the photo it just looked like an oblong ball of some sort, with a glassy panel on part of it. Now, up close, it was clearly far more complex. The whole thing would have looked like an egg... If the surface hadn't been a transparent green in its entirety, and clearly empty. Slightly darker waves ran over it, seeming to ripple in the light and the wind.

Right where Donna had pointed it out was an inscription, though. It appeared to be...

"Are those people? Holding hands?"

Robin frowned. "No way. Let me..." 

He moved closer, moving his hand to stabilize himself. It brushed against Wally's and they both pulled away. Wally blushed.

Loving him would be his end, he was sure.

"Yeah, that's what it looks like." Dick added.

"Seriously?" Donna squinted at it, circling around to look in different light. "I guess... And does that one have a cape?"

Wally could feel the color draining from his face. "That one has a skirt on, and a ponytail."

She seemed to get what he was saying, eyes widening. "This one isn't shaped wrong; he has a bow and arrow."

Robin frowned, leaning in close to look at them. "It's us. No doubts about it; the more you look at it... It's obvious."

"Why?"

"Well, they're all holding hands," Donna pointed out. "Should we...?"

Wally frowned, standing back up. "I don't have any better ideas, unless I can touch it."

"Don't. My scanners aren't indicating danger, but I also can't determine what it is, either." Robin explained. "So, before we try the holding hands thing... No."

"Okay! I'll, uh, go grab Roy and Garth."

Taking another glance back at Robin, Wally went to go collect the others again. Did things between them have to be so awkward? This was exactly why he didn't tell him he liked him at first, but... He did what he had to do. 

This was all his fault. 

No, it has been two weeks now, and Dick was probably done with him. After all, they were barely dating. All it did was show him that he deserved better.

Shaking his head, Wally grabbed Garth and put him by the object. He couldn't focus on Dick right now, or all the stuff he was hiding - what if this thing was in his head? What if it was reading their minds? He didn't feel like his mind was being read, but still. 

He scooped up Roy, and quickly set him back down. 

"Alright, update: the object appears to have an image on it of us holding hands in a circle, so we're going to try that." Robin explained, looking down at the image, then up at the group again.

He avoided looking at Wally. It wasn't obvious, but... He could tell. It hurt.

"So, in the same arrangement as is on the picture," He instructed. "Donna and Roy swap places, and I..."

Wally watched his adam's apple bob as he swallowed, jaw clenched.

"I'll be between Donna and Wally. Everyone ready?"

"Don't know what we're ready for." Garth commented. "But... Sure."

Roy cracked a smile. "Is this a bad time to say I've got a bad feeling about this?"

Donna elbowed him. "Let's just do it."

Wally reached for Garth's hand first, surprisingly cold through his glove, as he always was. Then... With a deep breath, he reached for Robin's. 

Their fingers didn't seem to lace quite as perfectly, anymore.

"Still don't think this is a good idea, for the record." Roy said before grabbing Donna's hand-

Then everything went white.

***

When Wally came to, they were all still standing up, holding hands. The sounds around them, though... The wind from Iowa was gone, replaced by a gentle hum. He couldn't smell the field anymore, only the familiar scent of Dick's coconut shampoo.

And when he opened his eyes, they were inside the object. He couldn't see the field outside, but it was still obvious: the transparent green swirling overhead moved and changed as he watched it.

Dick pulled his hand away. "Well, that just happened."

"Containment sphere." Roy stated. "I said I had a bad feeling."

"We don't know that it's a containment sphere, you know." Donna pointed out. "It could be, uh..."

"A containment sphere?"

She elbowed him. "Shut-"

"Greetings, Titans of Earth." A voice interrupted, bellowing down from above. "Do not be alarmed."

Garth nodded. "That's pretty alarming, but sure." 

"I come not as an adversary, but as an aid. I am Sero." 

Robin was glancing around, trying to find this 'Sero.' Wally's eyes darted around the... Sphere, as well, but found nothing.

"You are protectors of earth. A team of not only heroes, but friends. And yet, there are great divisions among you."

Wally took very sudden interest in the floor. He couldn't help that creeping feeling that those divisions were all his fault, especially recently. Hell, he couldn't even look at Robin right now.

"I come to fix these rifts, to bring you together. In order to leave, you must complete my trials."

Donna's eyes widened, her hands grasping tight to her lasso. Roy notched an arrow. Robin got a batarang ready. Garth got into a fighting stance.

"They will not be trials of combat; no, they will be trials of mind. Even now I search your thoughts, I see your woes." 

"Now they'll all see what a fuck up you are." His dad taunted. "Sero sees it now. Hero? Maybe not."

But Sero Continued. "First you will share your fears. When I am satisfied by the truth, you will receive your next trial. One fear from each of you, the one that plagues you most."

The quiet humming was gone, replaced by an overwhelming silence.

Biggest fear? Wally didn't even know what he would qualify as his biggest fear. How would he-

"I'm scared you guys will, like, get tired of me." Garth admitted casually, pushing his hair back over his shoulder. "Or that you pretend to like me, but really I just annoy you."

A chiming noise filled the air.

"...I'm guessing that means he's satisfied." Robin swallowed. "And that's not true at all, Gar. You're great."

"Yeah, yeah..." He shrugged. "Just insecure, I guess."

"We really do love you, Gar. And I'm scared that something I do rashly will cause someone to die." Donna stated. "But I think most of you already know that."

Another chime.

"I'm really fucking scared of losing someone else I love." Roy scratched the back of his neck.

No chime.

"Really?" His eyes widened. "I'm scared of... Not being accepted?"

Nothing.

"I am pretty scared of dying slowly."

Still, nothing.

Roy swallowed. "I'm afraid I'm going to end up bad."

Finally, it chimed.

"Well, I guess it really does know the truth." Robin frowned, a finger on his perfect lips as he thought.

"Still ogling him, huh?" His dad spat. "Disgusting."

"I'm scared of falling." He admitted.

Chime.

And that only left Wally. All of their eyes were on him.

"I'm scared of..." He swallowed, staring down at the floor. "My dad."

Nothing.

"Wally, are you okay?" Garth walked over, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Like..."

"Fine." Wally snapped. "And I'm... Scared of rejection."

The fifth chime rung, different than the others. It was louder, and slightly higher pitched, followed by the hum of before.

"Admit your insecurity. Again, one from each." Sero instructed, then the hum stopped again.

Garth leaned against him a little bit, almost like a hug, but not really.

"Insecurity?" Donna raised an eyebrow. "In general? I'm guessing he means in general. I wouldn't really call myself insecure, though."

"I am." Garth laughed. "I'm scared I'm not good enough."

The first chime went off.

"Same." Roy admitted, looking down at the floor. "I'm scared I'm not a good enough friend; hence, the whole asshole act."

Second chime.

"I... Have a tendency to get a little bit obsessive." Robin admitted. "I guess I'm insecure about that. It's creepy and invasive sometimes."

Wally snorted. "You can say that again."

The chime went off, and Robin gave him a hurt look.

"I think I'm annoying." He said, still looking him in the eye.

Nothing. Robin frowned.

"I'm bad at communication."

Nothing but silence.

Garth shrugged. "That one's true, but without it you wouldn't be you, you know?"

Wally smiled. "Thanks, Gar."

He did finger guns back.

"Alright... I'm insecure about how much I eat." Silence answered. "Really? Nothing for that one?"

"Apparently not." Donna commented, crossing her arms. "Maybe... I'm insecure about how I accidentally hurt you guys so much."

It chimed.

"You don't really." Roy told her, offering a supportive smile. "And we always work it out."

"Thanks, Roy."

"Anytime, sweetheart."

Wally swallowed. It was just him... Again.

"Could it actually be that simple?" He wondered aloud. "I'm insecure about my body."

The final chime sounded again. "Confess your grievances with each other. All three."

And once more, Sero was out.

"Our grievances?" Garth raised an eyebrow. "I'm not really mad an any of you."

"I'm pissed at Robin for still investigating me, even though I told him I'm fine. He doesn't trust me." Wally admitted, his lower lip trembling.

He just didn't want to be the last one again. The chime sounded.

Robin sighed. "I'm irritated that Wally still won't tell me what's wrong, when I know it isn't nothing, and I know he's not fine... Especially after everything he just said over the last two trials."

He blanched. The other trials, everything he's admitted so far... Shit. They all led into Robin's previous theory.

But Sero chimed.

They were all silent for a moment. There was another grievance, but... Wally wasn't mad at anyone else. He forgave Donna for the thing with the lasso, and Roy being an asshole was just normal. So what-

"Oh, Roy. I'm annoyed because you keep saying it's my turn to write the report." Donna broke the silence. "What? It could-"

The final chime went off.

"Apparently, Sero includes the petty." Garth observed. "Interesting."

"All of you have secrets, weighing on your hearts." Sero started. "Confess them, and be free. Their number is greater than you."

"So, secrets weighing us down." Donna exhaled deep through her nose, brows knitting together. "Well..."

Roy shrugged. "I relapsed."

They all turned to look at him, eyes wide. A lump was quickly forming in Wally's throat.

"When?" Garth asked, coming over closer to him.

"About mid May, when school was just getting out." He admitted, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. "Dinah found out and talked to me about it, but I dint want to tell you guys since, umm..."

"We get a little overprotective?" Donna guessed. 

"Yeah. Pretty much." Roy nodded. "So-"

Sero chimed.

"Alright, one down, more than four to go." Garth sucked in a deep breath. "It was a long time ago, but I maybe might have tried to kill myself."

"How long ago?" Roy asked, eyes wide, wrapping an arm around him. 

"Right after King Arthur's baby was born. It was just a bad time. I'm better now, don't worry."

"We love you, Gar." Dick wrapped him up in a hug.

"Aww, love you too."

Sero chimed.

"Two down..." Garth announced into Dick's shoulder.

And, yeah. Tears were definitely forming in Wally's eyes now as he came over to also hug Garth.

"I mean, my secret identity is already out there..." Dick was drowning as he pulled away from Garth. "I... Oh shit."

"What is it, Boy Wonder?"

He swallowed. "I'm still in love with Wally."

Sero chimed.

Wally stared down at the floor, as if that would hide the heavy tears running down his cheeks. He fucked this up. If he just told the truth-

Like he was going to have to now.

"I..." Donna swallowed. "I've been thinking about going back to Thymescira for a while. Not too long, but... I might be gone as much as a year."

Chime.

Dick put a hand on her shoulder. "That'd be alright; you haven't been back in so long."

"I really haven't." She agreed. "The memory isn't fading, but... There are definitely people I want to see."

Wally forced a smile. "Can you FaceTime from Thymescira?"

Donna laughed. "We'll try."

"Shit, why do I keep going last?" Wally chuckled, hoping to lighten this up, but... "I'm trans."

The chime followed, but no voice.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Donna asked, a puzzled look on her face. "We love you, Walls. That doesn't change anything."

"Thanks, Donna."

"You mean you picked a name like Wally?" Roy grinned, nudging him a little bit. "Nah, you're good, dude."

Garth grinned. "Trans squad."

Wally nodded. "And Dick, you already knew."

"I-" He sighed. "Yeah."

"But Sero's not letting us out." Roy pointed out. "'Cause someone's still got more to tell."

Dick's eyes immediately met Wally's.

"I... Can you not all stare at me?" Wally huffed a breath. "My dad... I mean, my parents were abusive. I wasn't kicked out, I ran away after they figured out I'm trans."

Another chime, still no voice.

The next thing he knew, Donna was wrapping her arms around him. "I'll kill them."

"Don't." He squeaked, smashed by the power of her embrace. "I'm done with them. They don't matter."

Still, though, she held on, gently swaying a little bit. "Okay. Alright."

"Still nothing." Roy reminded. "Someone else's got something to admit, and it's not me."

"Me neither." Garth said. "That was kinda the big one weighing on my mind. I mean, you guys know everything else."

Donna nodded, pulling away from the hug. "I really don't think I have anything either."

Dick just shook his head.

Wally knew what he had to say, but he didn't want to. 

"Maybe it's phrasing that was too vague?" Wally shrugged. "They... Hit me."

Another chime.

Shit. Now he really knew what he had to say, and it was... He couldn't. He couldn't. Fear roiled in his gut, bike threatening the back of his throat-

"I'm gonna puke." Wally warned.

Donna let him go. As quickly as possible he moved to where the lowest part of the sphere to vomit, everyone else moving away. His body felt hot and tacky. He felt sick.

"Now they'll all know what a pussy you are." His dad spat. "Just a little bitch, aren't you?"

Wiping his mouth, Wally stood up straight again. He shut his eyes. Nothing could touch him right now; all he had to do was admit it.

But Dick was watching. And Roy, and Donna, and Garth. He didn't want them to think of him like this.

Like he was broken.

"Okay... I need you to not freak out." Wally started, swallowing; his throat was raw.

"Alright... We'll try." Donna promised, laying a hand on his shoulder. "What is it?"

He and Dick met eyes. "You know, don't you?"

Dick shook his head. "Not really, I don't."

"I... Was sexually assaulted." Wally said as quickly as possible without using super speed.

The other Titans were already freaking out. He could see it in their eyes, the confusion on their faces. 

The chime went off, but no voice followed. Tears were starting to well up in Wally's eyes again. Garth came over to him, Roy soon following.

"Do you really want to whole truth?" He asked the ceiling, hoping, praying to anything desperately that Sero felt some kind of guilt for this. "Do you?"

Wally choked, shaking his head, lowering his eyes to the floor. "I was sexually abused by my dad."

No chime yet.

"He thought I was a lesbian." He continued, just saying words now, no longer able to let himself think about the meanings, the implications. "He wanted to fix me and, and..."

It was Dick who stepped forward and hugged him tightly, squeezing as hard as he could, like he would never let go. He was the perfect height to fit right under his chin.

Donna hugged him too, and Roy and Garth. Wally was red from embarrassment, but the tears wouldn't stop flowing. He just wanted to run, to hide, but there was no way out of this sphere.

And there was no way out of them knowing the truth.

Sero chimed, but still no voice.

"And I'm still in love with Dick!" He exclaimed, finally just giving in, melting into the hug.

The final chime went off, the most anticipated sound he had ever heard.

"You have done well, Titans of Earth." Sero proclaimed, a proud edge to the stiff voice. "Do not be separate - fight as one. I wish you well."

And everything went white.

***

When Wally opened his eyes, he was holding hands with Dick and Garth. They were back in the field, but now...

He jumped back, letting go of both of their hands. "The thing is gone!"

"Uh, yeah." Garth nodded, poking the spot it was with his shoe. "Seems like Sero's work is done here... And ours has just started."

"Wonder if the Justice League got a visit like that, and that's what they were busy with." Donna thought aloud, staring down at the field. "At any rate... It's been a long day."

"Yeah." Wally agreed. "Can we, by any chance, just head back to HQ?"

"After I take pictures of the updated scene." Dick answered, pulling out his phone. "There. Now... Let's get out of here."

"Yeah." He agreed, looking anywhere but Dick.

Garth noticed. He raised an eyebrow, the corner of his lips turning up into a smirk. "How far is it to the nearest river?"

Wally frowned. "Uhh, not too far, why?"

"Take me there, I want to swim back."

His nose wrinkled. "You do realize that'd be the Missouri, right? That's filthy."

Garth shrugged. "And?"

"Alright..." Wally scooped him up, running over, dropping him off, and running back. His mind was surprisingly silent. Everything has already been said. It was just time to face the music, so to speak.

He hated that expression. What did it mean, anyway? Face the music?

Still wondering, he slid back into the field.

"Okay, now-"

Robin was the only one standing there, staring down at his pixie boots. "Donna flew Roy back."

Shit.

"Oh." He swallowed, looking down at his own feet. "I'm guessing you, uh, want to talk about everything that went down in there."

"Not until we get back... And not if you don't want to."

"Alright, I'll just..." Wally picked him up bridal style, like they always did, but... it felt a little more special, somehow. "HQ."

The whole way there his mind was still completely blank. Not truly blank, really, but... He was too tired to be thinking too hard about any one thing.

Face the music.

Dick still liked him.

What even was the music?

He was holding Dick in his arms.

Why was it music, when what it felt like was overwhelming silence?

They all knew.

Silence.

On some level he was angry, angry like when Donna used the lasso of truth to make him admit his crush, but on a far bigger level. This wasn't just a crush; this was sensitive information. Stuff that he, in all honesty, didn't plan on telling anyone. Ever.

It was invasive and violating and humiliating.

When they got back to HQ, Wally set Dick down in the living room. 

"Thanks, Wally." He smiled, leaning in to kiss him on the cheek, but then seemed to second guess that.

Dick pulled away, and his heart sank.

"I mean..." Wally swallowed. "The truth is out there, now... And I know that you trust me... So we could..."

"Is this your way of asking me out again?"

That's exactly what this is, he wanted to say. I want to hold your hand again, I want you to kiss me on the cheek.

"I mean, if you want it to be?" He scratched the back of his neck. "We both know that we still want that."

"Wally..." Dick sighed. "Can we just sit down and talk things through, though?"

His pulse skyrocketed. "Sure."

Following him to his room, Wally twisted his hands together nervously. Talking things through. He just wanted to talk things through.

The hell did that mean?

But he closed the door behind them, sat down on the bed, and gestured for Wally to do the same.

"Look, I want to be with you," Dick started. "But I don't want to hurt you."

Wally nodded. "I get that."

"How have you been doing, for real?"

"That's, uh..." He laughed nervously, looking down at the floor. "A long answer."

"If you don't want to talk about this stuff with me-"

"Who else?" Wally looked up, meeting Dick's perfect dark blue eyes with his own. "Whether or not we get back together, you're my best friend."

He really was. In the beginning, before he really got along with the other Titans, Dick was his only friend.

Dick flushed pink. "Okay."

The truth. That was all he had to tell.

"The truth is? I've been awful." He started, yanking off his boots and pulling his legs up into the bed, hugging them tight. "I haven't been sleeping well, either nightmares or sleeplessness, and I don't know why. I got out of there, shouldn't I be better? And it's starting to make me wonder if things were better for me there, and-"

"They weren't." Dick interrupted, laying a hand on his shoulder. "That's a normal trauma response: you couldn't process it while it was going on, but now that you're okay, you can. It'll suck for a while, I can tell you that, but things'll get better."

Wally chuckled, wiping a stray tear from his eye. "Where would I be without you telling me about normal trauma responses? Are you Mr. Detective or Mr. Therapist?"

He elbowed him a little bit, the touch of a smile on his lips. "I just... I never want you to hurt."

"Well, from the sounds of it, it seems like things are going to suck for a while."

"I wish I could have kept you from going through that shit." Dick said softly, reaching over to take one of Wally's hands. "In all this time, I never noticed?"

"You were the one who was confident in my secret-keeping ability."

"Don't say things like that."

"But in all seriousness, though..." Wally sighed, squeezing his hand. "I've been hiding this for basically as long as I can remember, so not picking up on it until now isn't exactly the most amazing thing. I was trying to keep it hidden, and you never saw me without... Stuff going on... Until now."

"Still," Dick shook his head. "I should have been there for you. And I know saying I 'should have' isn't healthy, it's just... This is a lot to process."

"I know." He sighed, leaning his head against Dick's shoulder. "It's still hard to believe, after all this time, you all just... Know."

"You... Don't have to answer this question."

"What is it?" Wally sat up straight again. "I mean... I'll try."

"Why didn't you tell us sooner?"

And it had to be the question that had been floating around Wally's head since he left. Perfect. Just perfect, and...

"I was scared, for one. If I failed at running away..."

Dick's eyes went wide, squeezing his hand, but he said nothing.

"And I don't know. I thought, this might sound stupid out loud, maybe that you'd think I was weak? Or that I couldn't be Kid Flash anymore, and I... I couldn't take that."

"What?" He blinked, then squeezed Wally's hand tighter. "Why would we ever think-"

"Because it's true!" Wally blurted out, pressing his eyes shut. "What kind of guy with super speed let's himself get hurt like that?"

"One that grew up in that kind of environment." He answered quickly, reaching up to brush Wally's hair away from his eyes. "And it's not your fault, even if you could have left."

"But you were just too much of a bitch to leave, weren't you? Too much of a little slut?" His dad taunted.

"I know it's not my fault."

"But you don't sound like you believe it." Dick pointed out. "It's not your fault, Wally."

His dad spat. "If you weren't such a dyke, I wouldn't have to make you cry."

He choked. "I know."

"I know that you know, but it's not your fault."

Tears were starting to threaten Wally's eyes now, but he kept trying to blink them away. "Really, Dick, I know. I'm... I'm fine."

But Dick took both of Wally's hands in his, staring him right in the eyes. He was starting to cry too, a single tear running down his left cheek.

"It's not your fault." He whispered, and Wally lost it.

It was like saying it that last time broke him completely, leaving behind just a crying mess. Wally couldn't help but picture how it looked, and he wanted to get up, to wipe his eyes, to look good for Dick, but...

Right now, he just needed to cry. It didn't matter how he looked, what he said, any of the carefully crafted lies he had put together. He just needed to let go.

"Shh..." Dick scooped him up into his arms, hugging him as well as he could. 

For once Wally almost wished he was the smaller one, so he could be cuddled easily... Then the reality of the situation, not the humor he was using to cope with it, hit him.

Dick now knew about the years of abuse he'd gone through. All the parts of it. As hard as it was to admit, he had done it. And now...

Wally pulled away, wiping his tears. "I'm... I'm okay. Really. I just can't imagine being you right now."

"Why?"

"If the same thing happened to you, I think people would die." He admitted. "You're too good for me."

"You don't ever get to say that, Wallace Bartholomew West." Dick regained eye contact, shaking his head. "I love you, damnit, and you not loving yourself isn't going to change that."

Wally couldn't help the smile on his face. "I want to kiss you so bad, right now."

Smiling right back, he leaned in, then... "Are you sure that would be alright?"

"What do you mean?"

"I don't want to hurt you." Dick explained. "And if kissing and other PDA is a trigger, I'm not hurting you with that."

"I wouldn't call it a trigger..." Wally picked at the bedsheets. "It just makes me feel a little bit like I'm not here and you're not the one kissing me."

"...Wally, that's exactly what a trigger is."

"What?" His eyes widened. "Really?"

"I'll look it up." Dick whipped out his phone. "A trigger in psychology is a stimulus such as a smell, sound, or sight that triggers feelings of trauma."

"...oh shit." Wally sighed, anxiously drumming his fingers in his thigh. "I mean, it's not really the PDA part... It's more when you grab me, or kiss me."

"Alright." He nodded, giving a reassuring smile. "Then we can work around those."

"But I want to kiss you..."

Dick chuckled, ruffling his hair. "We'll have to work up to that. For now... Take things slow?"

"That sounds pretty good to me."

"Can I kiss your hand, then?" He asked, a soft smile on his lips.

Wally raised an eyebrow. "And this coming from the one who says he isn't romantic?"

Dick shook his head, gently raising his gloved hand to his lips. "I'd be romantic for you. I love you, Wally."

"...even if it's hard for me to believe that?" 

"Especially since it's hard for you to believe that." He kissed his hand again, peppering the surface. "And I'll just have to keep loving you until you really know how much."

"Even though I keep secrets?" Wally asked, not quite meeting his eyes. "I guess I don't exactly trust you..."

"Yep."

"And even though I yell when I get mad?" He swallowed. "I'm sorry for that, I didn't-"

"Shh." Dick sighed, gently lifting Wally's chin. "After five years of loving you, it's going to take a hell of a lot to get me to stop."

Wally sighed, wishing he could kiss him, but... Instead he leaned in for a hug. Eventually. Eventually he would get there, overcome the guilt, work through all of... This. And until then...

"I love you, Rob."

"Love you too, KF."

"Hey..." He started softly rubbing circles into Wally's back. "You know that favor you owe me?"

"From Mario Kart?"

"Uh huh." Dick chuckled a little bit. "I'm cashing that in now."

Wally raised an eyebrow, still hugging him. "What do you want me to do?"

"Be kinder to yourself."

"...I'll try, okay?"

Dick smiled. "Okay."

**Author's Note:**

> You made it through! I owe you a cake and a certificate, just comment to cash that in or something...
> 
> Thank you for reading my vent! My tumblr is Supertinywords and Supertinybats! Ask me for discord if you want to chat, also.
> 
> Comments are love!


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